


The Sound of Silence

by castielofasgard



Series: Apocalypse [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Curses, Duelling, Execution, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Life Debt, M/M, Necromancy, POV Alternating, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Sacrifice, Suicide, Temporary Character Death, Zombies, enemies to friends and back again, im gonna warn you guys this thing is... very graphic, shitty politics, unfair justice systems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-10-27 15:20:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 34
Words: 36,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10811658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielofasgard/pseuds/castielofasgard
Summary: Poe Dameron and General Hux have vanished, whisked away to the last place in the galaxy they want to be. Finn, Rey, Kylo Ren, and Captain Phasma will have to team up again to find them and bring them home... before it's too late.





	1. Another Day, Another Rescue

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the third and final installment of the Apocalypse series! thank you all for reading and i hope you enjoy this last one. as you may have noticed in the warnings/tags, this one is even darker and heavier than the previous two; when we get to the chapters with particularly graphic material, i'll warn you of sensitive content ahead. 
> 
> the fic title is, indeed, from the simon and garfunkel song of the same name. you can feel free to read into and analyze that fact as well as any possible metaphors/repeating themes/other english-majory things you may pick up on. i guarantee you won't be reading too far into it. (in fact i encourage it and would love to hear your theories and analyses ;)

Finn tore through the Resistance base, panic gripping every ounce of his body. This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t be real. He’d just gotten Poe back, just gotten him home. He couldn’t lose him again. But it appeared he already had.

He burst into the lounge, where Rey and Luke sat, talking quietly. They turned as he ran in, then stood up when they saw the frantic look on his face.

“Finn, is everything okay?” Rey said.

“It’s Poe,” Finn panted. “He’s gone.”

Rey’s face fell. Finn struggled to catch his breath, to try and pull himself together enough to explain.

“What do you mean, he’s gone?” Luke said. 

“I went into the bathroom for like, five seconds, and I heard a glass shatter so I went out to check on him,” said Finn. “And he was just gone. Vanished.”

“How is that possible?” said Rey. “Who has the power to…” She froze, eyes widening. “Oh no.”

“What? What is it?” Finn said.

“Who do we know who has non-Force related magic and has a reputation for fucking things up?”

Finn groaned.

“No. No no no. Not him.”

“I’m sorry, who are we talking about?” Luke said.

“Mot,” said Finn. “The necromancer that cursed that planet we were stuck on and brought Poe back to life.”

“You think he somehow took Poe?”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” said Rey. “Mot saved Poe and sort of… trained him up so he could end the curse. He’s got magic that we don’t understand and can’t even fathom the extent of it, but he doesn’t have full control over it. It’s why the curse happened in the first place.”

“We’ve gotta go back there, Rey,” said Finn. “We have to find him.”

Rey looked uncomfortable. He understood. He hated the thought of returning to that place, but he hated the thought that Poe was there alone and not home with him even more.

“I know,” Rey said. “But we don’t even know if he’s actually there.”

“But you have to check,” said Luke. “It’s a start. If he isn’t there, then you keep looking.”

Finn turned to him and Luke smiled sadly.

“Rey told me you’re able to use the Force. She also told me you’re afraid. I was hoping to help you, to train you. To ease that fear. But it can wait. This is more important.”

“Thank you,” said Finn.

“Don’t be afraid to use the Force, Finn,” said Luke. “It will help you find Poe. Now go. I’ll tell Leia what’s happened.”

“Thank you,” Finn said again.

He took Rey’s hand and they hurried from the room. Once they were on board the Millennium Falcon, Finn turned to Rey. He felt bad for dragging her into this, dragging her back to that planet.

“Look,” he said. “If you don’t wanna do this, it’s okay. You don’t have to go back there.”

“Yes I do,” said Rey. “He’s my friend. I don’t want to go back there, you’re right. But I’m not gonna sit at home while Poe’s off on that hellhole by himself. I’m with you, Finn.”

Finn took her hand and squeezed it gratefully. Rey started the engines and they lifted into the air.

“Thank you, Rey,” said Finn. “For everything.”

“You’re welcome,” said Rey. “Although, if I have to save your boyfriend’s ass one more time after this, I’m gonna tie him to a tree.”


	2. The Team's Back Together Again

Ren could tell Phasma thought he had lost his mind, but he didn’t care. He had to find Hux and punish the people who had stolen him. He had no idea where to look, but as he reached out with his senses, he knew one thing: wherever Hux was, he was alive.

“Sir,” said Phasma. “How exactly do you propose we find the general? He could be anywhere.”

“I’m working on it,” said Ren.

“Are you absolutely certain he wasn’t on the _Finalizer_?”

“Yes. If he was there, I would have known. I’d have felt him.” 

“But if he really did just vanish… who is responsible?” Phasma asked. “And is that even possible?”

“I don’t know,” said Ren. “But it is not within the power of the Force. To teleport someone from one place to another… the magic or technology responsible is not one I am familiar with.”

He frowned, an idea suddenly popping into his head. It barely made sense, but it was the first inkling of a lead he’d gotten, so he had to run with it.

“Captain, you know how to connect long-distance hailing frequencies, don’t you?” he asked.

“Yes, sir. How long distance are you requesting?”

“I’m not sure. I have no idea where the ship is. But I know the hailing code.”

“Sir, may I ask who you’re trying to contact?” said Phasma.

“The Millennium Falcon.”

 

***

 

Rey frowned. Unless she was very much mistaken, that was the beep of the hailing channel. But Luke had told General Organa where they had gone. Unless… could it be Poe?

“Finn, turn on the hailing frequency,” she said.

Finn flipped the switch.

“Hello?” he said.

“Is this the Millennium Falcon?”

There was something familiar about the voice on the other end.

“Um… yes?” said Finn.

“Good. Get Dameron, I need to speak with him.”

“Poe’s… not here,” said Finn. 

“Good lord, you didn’t leave him on Tatooine did you?”

Rey and Finn exchanged a wide-eyed look.

“Who is this?” Rey demanded. 

“Kylo Ren.”

Rey and Finn stared at each other again, more perplexed than alarmed.

“How the hell did you manage to contact us?” Rey asked.

“That’s my father’s ship, remember,” said Ren. “Now, where is Dameron? I need to speak to him.”

“Why?” said Finn.

“I need to know all he knows about that necromancer’s abilities.”

“I told you, Poe’s not here,” said Finn. “Why the hell do you need to know about Mot?”

“Because Hux has vanished,” said Ren. “This is the only idea I’ve got.”

“Wait, what?” said Rey. “Hux vanished too?”

“What do you mean-“ Ren paused. “That’s why Dameron isn’t there. He disappeared, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” said Finn. 

“This cannot be a coincidence.”

“We’re pretty sure it’s Mot,” said Rey. “But I don’t understand why he would take Hux. He never even met him.”

“It’s just a hunch” said Ren. “Whoever did this has a power I don’t understand. Mot fits the description.”

“We need to rendezvous,” Rey said. “Someplace remote, where no one will see us meet up.”

“I know a place,” said a new voice – Phasma. “I’ll send you the coordinates.”

There was a pause, then a set of coordinates appeared on the computer.

“Okay,” said Rey, setting the coordinates into the navigational system. “We’ll be able to get there in ten hours. See you then.”

“Thank you,” said Ren. “May the Force be with you.”

There was a soft beep and the channel closed. Finn turned to her.

“Did we really just team up with the First Order?” he said. “Again?”

“Yeah, I guess we did,” said Rey.

Finn sighed and leaned back in his seat.

“Well, I guess we all want the same thing, so… what could go wrong?”


	3. A War of Ideals

Poe woke with a start. Cool air danced over his face, rustling the tree branches overhead. Slowly, he sat up. He was in a small meadow full of yellow wildflowers. Surrounding the spot he’d woken up in were the dead and wilting remains of several of these same flowers, arranged around the place he’d been lying like a funeral bed. And in the place his head had been a moment before, the grass was stained dark by something that looked suspiciously like dried blood. 

A scene flashed before his eyes; green eyes, a flash of light, the resounding echo of a blaster firing. Poe gasped as though he’d been punched in the gut, scrambling to his feet in a blind panic. He whirled around, taking in his surroundings, barely able to breath as panic and horror choked him.

“No. No no no. It can’t be. Not here. I can’t be here.”

He staggered backwards, tripped over something lying in the grass, and fell to the ground. Whatever he’d tripped on groaned. Another surge of panic hit him. _No. The corpses_. Poe reached to his side for his blaster, but there was nothing there. Then, the person sat up.

“Hux?”

Poe stared, his terror momentarily forgotten. Hux stared back at him, then glanced around, his expression growing more horrified the longer he looked.

“This is a dream,” he said. “This is a horrible, horrible dream.”

“God, I wish,” said Poe.

He got to his feet and held out his hand. Hux took it and Poe pulled him to his feet.

“How did we get here?” Hux said. “ _Why_ are we here?”

Poe shook his head. Some of the panic was ebbing back and he was worried if he opened his mouth he might throw up.

“I was on my way to a meeting,” said Hux. “An _important_ meeting. My reputation is dangling by a thread as it is, if I don’t show up-“

“Oh, shut up, will you?” said Poe irritably. “Who gives a damn about your meeting, or your reputation? Definitely not me. We are _trapped_ on this _hell_ planet _again_!”

He punctuated the sentence with a vicious kick at a clump of wildflowers. This could not be happening. It wasn’t fair. He had finally been _home_ with Finn, safe. And now he was stuck in the last place in the galaxy he ever wanted to be, with General fucking Hux. He scowled and turned away, then froze. Someone was watching them. A hooded figure that stood on the edge of the meadow. Suddenly, Hux was right next to him, blaster raised.

“Who are you?” he demanded. “What do you want?”

The figure stepped forward and lowered his hood.

“Mot?” said Poe. 

Hux lowered his blaster.

“That’s him? The necromancer?” he said.

“Yeah.”

“It’s good to see you again, Poe,” said Mot. “And General Hux – a pleasure to meet you.”

“How do you know who I am?” Hux said.

“Poe told me about you.”

“Hang on,” said Poe, staring at Mot. An unpleasant feeling rose up in him. “It was you. You brought us here. I don’t know how, but you did, you had to.”

“Yes, Poe, I did,” said Mot.

For a moment, Poe couldn’t speak. Then every ounce of rage in his body burst out with hurricane-force.

“Why the _hell –_ after everything… everything we went through here, everything we fought for – everything _I_ did for _you_! Why the _fuck_ would you drag us back here?! I did _exactly_ what you asked of me, every detail of it! I almost _died_ because of the mission you gave me! I never questioned it, any of it! I believed what you told me, that it was for the greater good. And for that, you rip me away from my life, you bring me back here?! I was _home,_ I was finally gonna get my life back again! And now it’s gone, all of it, there’s _no_ way to get back!”

At last he ran out of steam and just stood there, panting like he’d run a marathon. Hux stared at him, almost alarmed, but Mot just stood there with a sad smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, Poe, really I am,” Mot said. “But it was necessary.”

“Necessary?!” Poe said incredulously.

“Come with me. I’ll explain.”

Then Mot turned and started walking away. Poe and Hux exchanged a look, then followed.

“You know, I think that’s the angriest I’ve ever seen you get,” Hux remarked.

“Sorry,” said Poe.

“Don’t be,” said Hux. “It was actually rather satisfying.”

Poe raised an eyebrow at him and they continued on in silence. They reached the hut and followed Mot inside. Everything was exactly the same as when Poe had last left it. He went to the table and sat down with casual familiarity, but Hux lingered in the doorway, looking around distastefully.

“Sit down, you snob,” said Poe. “Honestly, it’s just a house.”

“You call this a house?” said Hux, coming to join him at the table.

“You’ve never been around poor people, have you?”

“Not really.”

Poe rolled his eyes and turned to Mot.

“So you gonna explain yourself?” he said.

“Of course,” said Mot. There were a few seconds of silence while he took a kettle off the fire and set it on a tray with three mugs. As he poured out the tea, he began to speak. “I have had a lot of time to think since you broke the curse for me, Poe. The conflict on my planet has ceased, but the conflict in the galaxy rages on. This fight between the Resistance and the First Order is foolish. All it is doing is dragging the galaxy back into a war when it has barely recovered from the last one. But then it occurred to me: I have ways of contacting some of the most important people on either side of this conflict. And that is why I have brought you both here. To end this war, with words, like civilized men.”

Poe stared at Mot incredulously.

“You want us to… _talk it out_?” he said.

“Yes.”

Poe groaned and buried his face in his hands.

“Fucking hell. How can you be so smart but so clueless?”

“How do you even know about the war?” Hux said. “You’ve been marooned on this planet for decades.”

“I told him,” said Poe.

“Seriously?”

“He’s been cooped up here for ages, he wanted to know what was going on out there.”

“So you told him the galaxy was at war? Brilliant.”

“I may have overshared a bit.”

“Please,” said Mot. “I know it seems difficult, but blood doesn’t need to be shed to resolve your differences.”

Poe turned to him, anger bubbling up again.

“ _Difficult_?” he said. “You’ve never been in a war, Mot. You’re not a soldier. I am. We both are. We know what it’s like out there. And we can’t just _talk it out_. This isn’t some trade dispute or something that can be settled with a treaty. This is a war of ideals. There is no mutually beneficial agreement.”

“Won’t you even try?”

“What good would it do?” said Poe. “Even if there was a way to work it out, how could we both convince our sides to end it all?”

“You’re important men,” said Mot. “People will listen to you.”

“I’m a pilot, Mot. I’m not that important.”

“And my reputation is in shambles,” said Hux. “I would be killed on the spot for treason if I suggested such lunacy.”

Mot sighed dejectedly.

“Is there really no way to end this war without further bloodshed?”

“No,” said Hux.

“Sometimes people have to fight and die to make things right,” said Poe. “You can’t fix everything with words and magic.”

“Very well,” said Mot. “I’m sorry for bringing you here on an old man’s wishful whim.”

“Yes yes, so if you could send us back now,” said Hux impatiently.

“I’m afraid I can’t.”

Poe and Hux both turned to stare at him.

“Excuse me?” Hux said.

“I could summon you here, but I do not have the means to reverse it,” said Mot. “I’m sorry.”

Hux stood up very suddenly, his expression venomous. Poe grabbed his arm to hold him back, just in case.

“Easy, man.”

But Hux just turned on his heel and left the hut without a word. Poe cast a disapproving scowl at Mot, then got up and followed him out. Hux was in the garden, pacing restlessly.

“That was some impressive self-control back there,” said Poe. “For a second I thought you were gonna kill the guy.”

“Believe me, it was close,” said Hux.

Poe sighed and sat on an empty crate.

“I can’t believe this,” he said. 

“He’s _your_ friend.”

“Hardly. In case you’re forgetting, his mission nearly killed me.”

“True.” Hux finally stopped pacing and came to lean against the wall next to Poe. “Do you think he knew?”

“What, that the spell would try to suck the life out of me?” Poe said. “I dunno, maybe. It’s not like he’s ever really thought about the consequences for other people with his spells.”

“That’s a fair point,” said Hux. He sighed wearily. “How the hell are we going to get out of here?”

Poe suddenly stood up, the beginnings of a smile growing on his face.

“There are ships here,” he said, turning to Hux. “I crashed on this planet after escaping my execution, some of your pilots followed me. They’re all dead, but their ships… those are still here.”

“Where?” said Hux.

“In the city,” Poe replied. “It might take us a couple days to get there, but who cares? We have a way home!”


	4. Rendezvous

The Millennium Falcon touched down on the uninhabited moon Phasma had sent them too. The others were still an hour out, so Finn and Rey stayed in the cockpit. For a while they were quiet, just watching the waves crash against the plateau they had landed on.

“Are you doing okay?” Rey asked suddenly.

Finn turned away from the window to look at her. He could tell she was worried, and he wanted nothing more than to say something that would set her mind at ease, but he knew he couldn’t lie to her.

“No. I’m not,” he said. “I’m terrified. We have no idea what happened, if Poe’s okay, if we’re even on the right track. And it all happened so fast… I just got him back, Rey. I can’t lose him. Not again.”

Rey reached out and took his hand.

“You won’t lose him,” she said. “We’ll find him. We’ll get him back, I promise.”

“But what if… something went wrong?” said Finn. “Mot accidentally started an apocalypse trying to bring his sister back. How do we know he can successfully teleport someone from one planet to another? What if he screwed up and Poe’s dead?”

“What do your feelings tell you?”

Finn didn’t answer right away. He breathed deep, trying to chase away some of his anxiety so he could focus. 

“He’s alive,” he said at last. “But there’s something off. I can tell he’s alive, but the certainty’s not there. Before, I knew it without a doubt. But I had to work for it this time.”

“It’s probably nothing,” said Rey. “The Force can be unpredictable. Don’t worry.”

Finn nodded, though he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. There was a darkness surrounding Poe, a shadow blocking Finn’s view. Just then, a First Order shuttle flew over head and came in to land on the plateau.

“Well, I guess it’s time,” said Finn.

They stood up and went outside to greet the others. They stood at the foot of the ramp, shivering a little in the sea air, as Ren and Phasma disembarked and approached them. 

“So. Here we are again,” said Rey.

“It appears so,” Phasma said.

“How did you know about this place?”

“It’s a long and boring story,” Phasma said. “Suffice it to say, no one will know we’ve been here.”

“Let’s get going,” said Ren. “I don’t want to waste any time standing around.”

He swooped past them and up the ramp of the Falcon.

“Okay, I guess we’re taking my ship,” said Rey. “Good.”

She walked up the ramp and Finn followed, Phasma right behind. Finn closed the door and they all went to the cockpit.

“Look, Ren, I know this was your father’s ship, but I’m flying,” said Rey.

“And I was going to let you,” said Ren. “But you could do with a co-pilot.”

“Right. Good.”

Rey sat in the pilot’s chair and Ren in the co-pilot’s. Finn glanced at Phasma and sat down behind Rey.

“Well, this ought to be an awkward trip,” he said.

“No kidding,” Rey muttered.

She started the engines and they rose into the air, leaving the shuttle and the moon behind.


	5. Another Curse

Poe and Hux had decided to take advantage of Mot’s hospitality a little longer and leave once night fell. Evening arrived and Mot served them a simple dinner, which they ate in uncomfortable silence. As they helped him clean up, they snuck whatever scraps they could manage into their pockets any time Mot’s back was turned. Hux had the definite advantage with his coat’s many large pockets, and Poe only hoped that desperation to get home would lead him to share once Poe’s own measly rations ran out. The last thing he stole was a canteen, tucked up under his shirt, which he would fill once they were outside. 

Once everything was cleared away, Mot sat in his chair by the fire to read. Poe knew from his week staying with Mot before that he would fall asleep there before an hour was up. This was their chance.

“We’re gonna step out for some fresh air,” said Poe.

“Oh, yes, of course,” Mot said. 

Poe gestured to Hux and they left the warmth of the hut for the cold darkness of night. Once the door was shut, Poe pulled out the canteen and went to the water pump to fill it. As he stood up, screwing on the cap, Hux lit a cigarette.

“What are you doing?” Poe whispered.

“He’s not asleep yet,” said Hux, blowing out a stream of smoke. “If we leave now, he’ll realize we’ve gone and come after us. This is a diversion.”

“Right.” Poe went to the chest under the window, where he knew Mot kept supplies. He dug around a bit and pulled out a satchel, into which he put the canteen and the food he’d slipped into his pockets. “I didn’t realize you smoked.”

“The lighter was never a giveaway?” Hux said.

“I suppose now you mention it.”

Hux rolled his eyes and took another drag, then held out the cigarette pack wordlessly. Poe raised an eyebrow.

“Well, are you going to take one or not?” said Hux. “I’m not going to stand around all night.”

Poe took a cigarette from the box and Hux held out the lighter for him. He didn’t normally smoke, except a few times at parties back when he was at the academy, but Hux was right. They couldn’t leave until Mot was asleep, and he’d need something to do until then. Not even Mot would buy that they were out here just having a chat.

“Thanks,” said Poe.

“Whatever.”

Poe chuckled to himself, letting a cloud of smoke puff from his mouth.

“What’s so funny?” Hux demanded.

“You. I’ve never seen someone be nice so grudgingly.”

“I’m not being nice,” said Hux. “I just offered you a cigarette. I didn’t expect you to actually take one. I assumed you don’t smoke.”

“I don’t,” said Poe. “I was being polite. And passing the time.”

Hux raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. They stood in silence for a while, smoking and glancing in through the window to see if Mot was still awake.

“He’s asleep,” Poe said at last. “Let’s go.”

He put out what was left of his cigarette and slung the satchel over his shoulder. Then they started off into the night.

 

Several hours passed, taking them across the nearby field and deep into the forest on the other side. Neither of them spoke. It wasn’t as if they were going to make small talk. Both were just focused on one thing: getting to the abandoned ships and getting home.

Eventually the moon went down, leaving them in that brief period of darkness before the first pale light of dawn. Poe was getting tired, but there was something else. He was dizzy, his body felt heavy, and even though it was a cold night, he felt hot. Pretty soon, he started lagging behind.

“Keep up, Dameron,” said Hux. “You’re not getting tired, are you?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s not the trouble,” Poe said.

Hux glanced back over his shoulder and frowned.

“You look like shit.”

“Oh thanks,” said Poe. “I kinda feel like it too.”

Hux stopped walking and turned around, giving Poe a once-over. 

“Seriously, you don’t look well,” he said.

Poe opened his mouth to answer but froze, interrupted by a strange noise.

“Did you hear that?” he whispered.

“Yes,” said Hux. His hand crept down to the blaster at his side. “I know that sound.”

Poe bent down and picked up a stick, squinting into the darkness for the source of the noise. A rustle of leaves and it happened again, a gurgling growl that made Poe’s heart race and stomach churn.

“I’ve got a very bad feeling about this,” he said.

Just then, out of the darkness, emerged a staggering corpse, dressed in a TIE fighter pilot uniform, followed closely by two others.

“What the devil…” Hux said.

“This is impossible,” said Poe. “The spell worked, it was supposed to work.”

The three corpses came closer, but Poe and Hux were both rooted on the spot. It wasn’t until the lead corpse made a swipe at them that Hux finally raised his blaster and shot it down. The other two snarled viciously and charged at them. Poe whacked one across the face with his stick and Hux shot the other, then they turned tail and started running back the way they came. Finally they stopped, gasping for air.

“We need… to go back,” Poe panted.

“Where? To Mot?” Hux said incredulously.

Poe nodded.

“Those pilots are the ones who followed me here when I escaped,” he said. “There are more of them out there. And we need to find out what the hell Mot did to bring that damn curse back.”

Hux looked for a moment like he might argue, but then he nodded.

“You’re right. We can’t go back to the city. Not with those things out there. And in the forest too.”

“Yeah, that’s new. And bad.”

Once they finished catching their breath, they continued on. Dawn came, pale and cold, and by the time they reached the open field again, it was mid-morning. Adrenaline had kept Poe going since their encounter with the new corpses, but now it was wearing off and he was beginning to feel feverish. They were back under the cover of the trees and nearly to the meadow when he staggered to a halt, leaning against a tree.

“Dameron, what are you doing?” Hux said wearily. He turned around and his scowl turned to a look of alarm. “Bloody hell, you look terrible.”

“I think I need to sit down,” said Poe.

“We’re nearly there, I’m sure you can make it a little ways farther.”

“No, I don’t think I can.”

Suddenly, his knees buckled and Hux rushed forward to catch him before he fell. 

“You’re right, you’re not going to make it back on your own,” he said. “Do you think you could walk if I helped you?”

“Dunno,” Poe mumbled. 

Everything was spinning and he had to close his eyes to keep from feeling nauseous. 

“Come on, I need a real answer,” said Hux.

Poe opened his eyes again and, using Hux as a crutch, forced his legs to hold his own weight. 

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s try this.”

Poe leaned against Hux and slowly they started walking again. It seemed an eternity before they reached the meadow. The yellow of the wildflowers seemed too bright, they burned his eyes and made his head ache. They had made it to the very center of the meadow, to the place Poe had woken up yesterday, the place he had died, when he suddenly blacked out.


	6. Dead Man Walking

 

Hux managed to catch Dameron before he fell. He checked his pulse – still alive, thank the Force – then lifted him in his arms and carried him the rest of the way to Mot’s hut. He didn’t bother knocking, just kicked the door open and turned sideways so he could make it through the narrow doorway without hitting Dameron’s head on the frame. Mot was bent over his worktable when Hux entered, but dropped what he was doing and came over immediately.

“I thought you two had left,” he said.

“We had,” said Hux.

“What happened?”

“Dameron’s ill,” Hux replied. He set Dameron carefully on the bed against the wall, then straightened up. “I don’t know what happened. He started looking feverish a few hours ago. We made it back to the meadow, then he just fainted.”

Mot knelt down next to the bed and felt Dameron’s forehead. He frowned, then went to his table and gathered some instruments before returning to the bedside.

“What’s wrong with him?” Hux asked. 

“I’m not sure,” said Mot. “His fever is dangerously high and his heart rate is… erratic.”

“There’s something else,” said Hux. “The real reason we came back here, before he got so ill.”

Mot looked up at him curiously, but before Hux could continue, Dameron woke up with a groan.

“What happened?” he mumbled. 

“You passed out,” said Mot. “General Hux carried you here.”

Dameron looked at Hux surprisedly.

“Thanks.”

“It was no trouble,” said Hux. He turned to Mot again. “As I was saying. While we were out there, we found three corpses. Not the normal kind. The cursed ones.”

Mot stood up, looking alarmed.

“But the curse broke,” he said. “The spell worked.”

“I know. I was there. We both were,” said Hux. “Which means you have some explaining to do, sorcerer.”

Mot turned away and returned to his worktable. Dameron propped himself up on his elbows, frowning.

“Mot, come on. What happened?” he said.

“I tried to bring her back again. My sister. It didn’t work. I had no idea my attempts had started a new curse. I thought there was no one here to harm but myself.”

“There wasn’t, not until…” Dameron said. “I was running from the First Order and accidentally ended up here, in the city. I was followed. My friends showed up and killed the soldiers that were after me.”

“How many?” Mot said.

“There were five pilots. Two of them are definitely dead now, Hux shot them. The third one is probably still walking. But the other two are out there for sure.”

Mot sighed wearily.

“I am so sorry,” he said. “And I am especially sorry for bringing the two of you here among this.”

Hux was tempted to make a retort, but kept his mouth shut. Mot picked up a few more things from his table and returned to Dameron’s side, feeling his forehead again and examining him.

“I’m afraid this news that the corpses have returned also may explain your sudden illness, Poe,” he said. 

“What do you mean?” said Hux.

“It’s only a theory, but one I’m fairly confident in,” said Mot. “How long ago did you say those pilots died here?”

“Less than a week, probably,” Dameron replied.

“That confirms it then. I attempted my spell several weeks ago, not long after the original curse was broken,” said Mot. “I believe this new curse causes anyone who dies here to become a corpse.”

“And what’s that got to do with me?” said Dameron.

“You died here before, my dear boy. If my theory is correct… I believe the curse is trying to reclaim you. Killing you again so it can make you a corpse.”

Hux felt suddenly nauseous, but it was nothing compared to the sickened look on Dameron’s face. He lay back down against the pillows and ran his hands over his face wearily, seeming to be in utter anguish.

“Keeping myself from turning into one of those monsters is the whole reason I died in the first place,” he said. “And now there’s no way out of it.”

“This isn't right,” said Hux. He wasn’t sure why he was so upset on Dameron’s behalf, but he was; a righteous anger had bubbled up inside him. “Is there nothing we can do?”

“I’m afraid not,” said Mot. “It took me years to create the spell that broke the first curse. This illness has come on so fast… Poe probably has a matter of days. There is no time.”

“Fuck curses, and fuck time!” Hux spat. “You can’t just sit here and let this happen, when it’s all your fault to begin with!”

He took a step toward Mot, but Dameron suddenly caught his hand, holding him back. Hux froze and stared at him in surprise.

“Leave it, Hux,” said Dameron. “It’s okay.”

“It’s _not_ okay. You’re _dying_ , you’re going to become one of those creatures.”

“I know. But Mot’s right. Even if there was a way to stop it, we don’t have enough time.”

“So, what, you’re giving up? That’s not like you,” said Hux. “Don’t you want to get home again?”

“More than anything. But you said it yourself: I’m dying. Sometimes… you’ve gotta accept you’ve lost.” Dameron sighed, then turned to Mot. “Can I… ask a favor?”

“Of course,” said Mot. “Anything.”

“Can you do that mirror spell for me?” Dameron asked. “So I can see Finn?”

“Of course.”

Mot returned to his table and started working. Hux frowned.

“Mirror spell?” he said.

“It lets you see someone who’s somewhere else,” Dameron explained. 

Hux nodded. He felt vaguely nauseous again. 

“I may not like you, Dameron,” he said quietly. “But you don’t deserve this.”

Dameron smiled sadly. Mot came back and handed him a small hand-mirror. Dameron took it and closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He exhaled and opened his eyes again. He smiled a little, his eyes filled with tears, then frowned. 

“Hang on,” he said. “That’s the Millennium Falcon. Finn’s on the Falcon.” He looked up at Hux, the sadness in his smile suddenly gone. “They’re coming to find me. They can get us out of here! If they get here in time… maybe I can escape the curse. I won’t have to die.”

“That’s a very slim chance,” said Hux.

“I know,” said Dameron. “But I have to take it.”

“It’s a bit mad,” said Hux, “how easily you can find and cling on to the slightest glimmer of hope.”

But secretly, he almost admired him for it.


	7. Bonded and Broken

They would make it to their destination in about five hours at lightspeed. Rey had taken them to hyperspace, set in the coordinates, and turned on autopilot, then all of them had retreated to the main cabin. Rey and Finn sat together at the table, talking quietly. Ren and Phasma sat at the other end of the room; they had both removed their helmets, but neither spoke a word. Half an hour passed. Rey and Finn eventually fell silent too. There wasn’t much they could talk about anyway, not without getting more worried about Poe than they already were.

Suddenly, the Falcon fell out of light speed with a sickening jolt. Rey flew to her feet and made a beeline for the control panels, trying to find what was wrong. 

“Is it the hyperdrive?” Finn said.

“Yup.”

“We literally _just_ got that thing!  
“Oh, well done,” said Phasma. “You’ve broken your bloody ship.”

“Technically,” Rey shot back. “It’s _your_ people who broke my bloody ship. Ren, go to the cockpit and find out where we are and see if there’s any sign of damage.”

Ren looked for a moment like he might argue about being bossed around, then apparently thought better of it and stalked off to the cockpit.

“You sure you should send him in there alone?” Finn asked in an undertone, coming over to stand next to Rey.

Rey frowned.

“Go with him,” she said.

Finn nodded and followed Ren to the cockpit. Just then, Ren’s voice came in over the comms.

“We seem to be just outside the Hoth system,” he announced.

Rey groaned.

“Dammit, that’s still fifteen hours away without lightspeed!” she said. 

“There doesn’t seem to be any damage to the ship, or the hyperdrive,” Ren continued. “I would guess that it’s simply misaligned.”

“I was _going_ to readjust it when we got home, but then Poe disappeared four hours after we landed,” said Rey. “Of course, if I hadn’t had to install it mid-flight while being chased, we wouldn’t be having this problem.”

“Oh, you’re blaming me now?” said Phasma.

“Yes, I am.”

“Would you rather I’d shot the two of you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then perhaps you should be a little more grateful.”

Rey scoffed.

“Grateful? You didn’t kill me, good for you! I shouldn’t have to _thank_ you for it.”

“You two okay back there?” Finn interjected.

“We’re fine,” Rey and Phasma said in unison.

“Just checking.”

Silence fell for a while as Rey tinkered with the hyperdrive. 

“You know,” she said at last. “It’s actually kind of funny. Poe and Hux were probably the most resistant out of all of us to team up when we first crashed, and now they’re… well, I don’t really know what.”

“I wouldn’t say friends,” said Phasma. “The general doesn’t exactly have friends.”

“Maybe he needs one,” Rey said.

Phasma laughed humorlessly.

“Can you really imagine him having a drink and a chat with Poe Dameron?”

Rey grimaced.

“Force, no. They’d strangle each other two beers in.”

She and Phasma exchanged a glance, both barely suppressing a grin. They fell silent again. Rey worked on the hyperdrive, occasionally requesting various tools, which Phasma would pass to her wordlessly.

“I would never say this in front of the others,” Phasma said suddenly. “But despite the fact that we’re enemies and I find your stubborn optimism tiring, I actually don’t mind you too much. In fact, between the three of you, I find you the least irritating.”

Rey looked over at her, eyebrows raised, and almost smiled.

“Well… thanks,” she said. “You’re pretty okay yourself, when you’re not wearing that stupid helmet.”

Phasma gave her a look but otherwise ignored the jab.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Rey continued. “Why do you find me… more tolerable?”

“I don’t know,” said Phasma. “I suppose you’re pleasant enough as a person. I mean… FN –“ she paused a moment. “ _Finn_ … he reminds me of a great personal failure, so being around him is intolerable. And Dameron is simply a pain in the ass. So perhaps it’s the company you keep that makes you preferable.”

“If you hadn’t just insulted my friends, I’d almost be flattered,” said Rey. “Though, you _did_ use Finn’s name, so that’s a point in your favor.”

“I’ve accepted that he is no longer one of my stormtroopers,” said Phasma. “That is all.”

“Right,” Rey said, smirking. She paused, loosening a screw as she gathered her thoughts. “I suppose… what I said earlier… I _am_ grateful that you didn’t kill Poe and me. You risked a lot letting us go. So… thank you.”

Phasma stared at her, rather taken aback. 

“You’re welcome,” she said at last.

Just then, Finn entered the cabin.

“How’s the hyperdrive coming?” he asked.

“It’s pretty jammed,” said Rey. “It might take a while.”

“I figured.”

“Didn’t this ship have comms a few minutes ago?” Phasma said.

“I just needed an excuse to get away from Ren, honestly,” said Finn.

Phasma smirked.

“Fair enough.”

“Is he flying right now?” Rey asked.

“Yeah. He’s a pretty good pilot, actually,” said Finn. “Though I should probably get back in there in case he tries to rig a trap for us to find later.”

“Good idea,” said Rey. “I’ll let you know when we can try out the hyperdrive again.”

“Okay.” 

And with that, Finn left.

 

***

 

Finn sat back down in the co-pilot seat, eying Ren sideways as he settled in. 

“Any word on the hyperdrive?” Ren asked.

“It might be a while,” said Finn.

Ren sighed heavily. 

“I know,” Finn said. “The longer it takes, the longer they’ve got to be on that planet. I hate it too. We just have to keep flying.”

“I know what we have to do,” Ren snapped. Then he sighed again. “I’m sorry. I just… I’m worried.”

“I don’t think Mot would hurt them,” said Finn. “I don’t like him that much, but… he did bring Poe back to life. And they _were_ friends, I guess. The guy means well, he just kinda sucks. I don’t know why he would take Poe and Hux, but I doubt he would purposely hurt them.”

“Purposely,” Ren repeated. “But he could very easily harm them by accident.”

Finn sighed. Admittedly, he’d been worried about that too. Especially given the strange feeling that had begun to creep in, muddling his connection with Poe. He could still feel him, but something was off.

“I know Poe’s alive, but I don’t know how to tell if he’s okay without being there,” said Finn. “Do you know how?”

Ren stared at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“The Force,” said Finn. “I can tell that Poe’s not dead, but I also feel something weird going on. But I can’t tell what it is, if he’s hurt or something.”

“You can use the Force?” said Ren.

“It’s a pretty new thing,” Finn replied. “But you’ve been trained for years, you should know how. Can you tell if Hux is okay?”

Ren just stared, looking utterly bemused.

“I would know if Hux had been killed, but… I can’t _sense_ what’s happening to him, even vaguely, not from lightyears away. I’d have to be at least in the same star system.”

Now it was Finn’s turn to stare.

“But… I’ve been able to do that since before I even knew it was the Force,” he said. “When Poe was on your ship… I could feel things… and… you’re saying you can’t do that?”

“No.”

“But… you love Hux, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then why wouldn’t you be able to feel him?”

“You know nothing about how the Force works, do you?” said Ren.

“Not much,” said Finn, shaking his head.

“The things you’re saying you can do… that’s not normal.”

Finn swallowed hard.

“I knew this… _my_ …. power was somehow connected to Poe, but… what’re you saying?”

“Normally, a Force bond such as this… it’s reserved for strong emotions. Namely, death and the consequential heartbreak. Often, people can call out for each other, even from a distance, but that requires a great deal of focus from the one calling out, and usually both parties are Force sensitive,” Ren explained. “But… the fact that you can _feel_ Dameron’s life force and can feel fluctuations in his surroundings and emotions, however faintly…. that is a more powerful bond than I have ever heard of.”

“But… how?” said Finn. “How did our connection get so powerful? I didn’t even know I was Force sensitive until a few days ago.”

“I have no idea,” said Ren. “There’s no precedent for this, none that I’m aware of.”

Finn stared at him another few seconds, then turned away. He was still getting used to the fact that he could use the Force at all. And now he was learning that this connection he had with Poe, that he had only suspected existed, was more powerful and mysterious than he could ever have imagined. So powerful that even one of the most powerful Force users he knew seemed unnerved by it. 

Normally the thought of possessing that much power would terrify him. But… for some reason, he felt almost comforted by it. He was still scared, there was no denying that, but the fact that it all tied back to Poe somehow made it less overwhelming. It felt like a lifeline; even if all this power became too much for Finn, Poe would be there, a part of it, to tether him.


	8. Alone

Night had fallen again and Poe was already feeling about twenty times worse than he had that morning. His entire body ached, hot and cold at the same time, trapping him in a shivering, sweaty purgatory. Hux had tried to get him to eat, or at least drink some water, but just the thought of food made him nauseous beyond belief. He knew trying to treat this like any other illness might help him hold out until Finn and Rey got here, but he also knew that he was dying, fast. 

Hux had retreated to the far end of the hut, where he sulked in a corner, slowly eating a piece of fruit and pretending he wasn’t glancing over to check on Poe every three minutes. Poe couldn’t fathom why Hux seemed to care so much about what was happening to him. This was beyond any feelings of indebtedness. Hux had been legitimately _angry_ for him, and now he was trying, in his own strange way, to keep him alive, or at least alleviate some of his suffering.

Mot had gone outside, leaving the two of them alone. It was stiflingly quiet; even the crackling of the fire seemed muffled.

“You have to try,” Hux said suddenly, barely louder than a whisper. “Just… try to stay alive.”

Poe turned to look at him. Hux’s head was bowed, the shadows of the fire lit room obscuring his face.

“Why do you care?” he said.

He’d meant it to come out more eloquently, but the words had gotten lost somewhere on the way, muddled up by the fever.

“I…” Hux hesitated. “I don’t know. I really don’t. I don’t want to care, but…” He paused again. “Just stay alive for him. It doesn’t matter what I think or feel. Stay alive for him. At the very least, just so he can be with you when you…”

“Are you drunk?”

Once again, Poe hadn’t intended to be so abrupt. But Hux’s behavior was beyond perplexing.

“…Maybe a little.”

Poe glanced down and noticed the steely glint of a flask in Hux’s hands. He had removed his gloves and his pale hands shook slightly as he raised the flask to his lips and took a long drink. 

“Are you okay?” Poe asked, much gentler than his previous attempts.

Hux chuckled, then sniffled, rubbing a hand across his face. Poe realized with a jolt of horror that he was crying. 

“I tried to do that mirror spell you used earlier, to see if Ren was coming for me too,” said Hux. “I couldn’t even get it to work.”

“Oh.” Poe paused. “I’m sure he’s trying to find you.”

Hux shook his head and took another drink.

“Even if he is, he’d never find me. He’d never come back here.”

“Not even for you?”

“I don’t know.” Hux fell silent, staring down at the flask in his hands. “All of this comes so easy for you. Love, and all that. You didn’t need that spell to know Finn is coming for you. Of course he is. You two would run through hell for each other. Why wouldn’t he return to a place of nightmares to find you?”

“What makes you think Ren wouldn’t do the same?” Poe asked.

Hux just shrugged. When he finally spoke again, his voice was so small it hardly seemed to belong to him.

“Don’t leave me alone here. I don’t think I could stand it.”

“You’re afraid,” said Poe quietly. 

“Terrified.”

“Of what?”

“Being here. Being alone,” said Hux. “Dying here.”

Poe nodded, swallowing back a lump in his throat.

“Me too.”


	9. Speed of Light

Rey worked on the hyperdrive until her hands were all but bleeding. She’d installed it in such a hurry the first time that when it fell out of alignment, it had gotten wedged in a way that took hours to fix. But at last she managed to realign it, securely this time.

“Alright!” she called. “Try it out!”

There was a pause, then the lights on the hyperdrive control panel blinked into life as they blasted to lightspeed. 

“Yes!”

Rey bounded to the cockpit, grinning.

“Oh thank the Force, it worked!” she said. “How long ’til we get there now?”

Ren checked the computer. 

“Half an hour,” he said.

Rey turned to Finn, who visibly relaxed at the news. They were so close. Soon, they’d have Poe back and be on their way home again.

 

***

 

The cockpit felt cramped with all four of them there and Finn was almost tempted to retreat to the cabin, but he wanted to be there when they came out of lightspeed, he wanted to see the planet appear. He knew that as soon as they approached it, he would know for sure if Poe was really there or not.

“Get ready to drop out of hyperspace,” Rey said.

Ren flicked a few switches and nodded.

“Alright, here we go,” said Rey.

Finn gripped the arms of his seat as they dropped out of light speed. Up ahead, he saw the cloud-spotted green orb of the planet. It looked so pleasant from out here. And just as Finn predicted, his feelings amplified now that he was so close. 

“Poe’s there,” he said. “I can feel it.”

“Hux too,” said Ren.

Finn turned to him and they exchanged a look, an unusual sort of understanding between them. 

“Any chance you can tell where on the planet?” Phasma asked.

“Yeah,” said Finn. He pointed toward a tiny browning spot. “There.”

“Okay,” said Rey. “Let’s go get our boys.”


	10. Pulse

Dameron had gotten progressively worse all day. He hadn’t spoken in hours and had barely moved. If it weren’t for his obviously pained breathing, Hux would have thought he’d already died. It was strange how much he dreaded the moment when that would actually be true. It’s one thing not wanting to kill a man. It’s another thing entirely wanting him to live.

He couldn’t explain the feeling, even if he tried. Matters of the heart had been all but foreign to him for most of his life. He’d never loved or been loved by anyone until Ren, and even that still came as a shock to him. For all his confidence in every other area, where his personal life was concerned, he was painfully aware of his insecurities. He had been surprised to discover that Ren was attracted to him, more so to learn he cared for him, loved him even. 

He wanted so much to believe that Ren loved him enough to face this planet again for him. But he didn’t have Dameron’s sense of absolute certainty. His fear of this planet, of being left behind, sowed the seeds of doubt in his mind. The longer Hux wandered the room, watching Dameron’s life slowly drain away, the more convinced he became that he would not be saved; he too would fade away and die here, utterly alone.

Night fell at last. The darkness outside was so absolute, it was as though death itself were closing in. Even the roaring fire in the center of the hut seemed dim, its orange light dancing on the walls. Hux couldn’t help feeling as though hell had opened up around them, preparing to drag Dameron away. He turned again to the bed where Dameron lay, pale and feverish, the shallow rising and falling of his chest getting weaker by the minute. It wouldn’t be long now, he could tell.

Only a little reluctantly, Hux went to Dameron’s bedside and sat down. He hesitated, then reached out and took Dameron’s wrist in his hand, pressing two fingers to his pulse; weak and getting weaker. He was about to pull away when Dameron suddenly caught his wrist and held him there, his hand trembling, whether with fatigue or fear, Hux couldn’t tell.

“Don’t go,” he whispered. “Please.”

“I won’t,” said Hux. “You won’t be alone.”

“Thank you.”

The pulse beneath Hux’s fingers was getting fainter. He had to concentrate to even tell it was there. Poe closed his eyes and took a deep shaky breath; a tear trickled down his cheek. Hux tightened his grip on Poe’s wrist, some long-buried instinct trying to be of comfort. He could no longer feel a pulse. Poe’s grip on his arm loosened and his hand fell limply back onto the bed.

 

***

 

The Millennium Falcon landed in the open field and Finn barely waited for the ramp to lower before disembarking. The others weren’t far behind but he didn’t wait for them, he just ran, following his feelings, letting the Force lead him to Poe. He ran through the forest until he reached a small meadow filled with wildflowers and suddenly stopped. 

“Finn?” Rey said, catching up. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t feel him anymore,” said Finn. His heart was pounding, blood rushing in his ears. “A second ago I could feel him and then it just suddenly… stopped.”

Fear threatened to overwhelm him, but he knew he couldn’t let this stop him. He had to get to Poe. He may have lost the connection, but he could still remember the direction it had been leading him. He took off again, the others close behind. Suddenly, a small hut appeared ahead, the orange lights in the windows shining like beacons in the pitch black forest.

“Mot…”

Finn ran to the hut and burst through the door, then finally stopped. The others jogged in a moment later and clustered behind him. An old man stood against the wall, not even alarmed by the sudden intrusion. Hux stood up quickly as they entered, his hand going for the blaster at his hip, but as he stared at Finn, his expression melted into something sad and almost pitying. 

“You’re too late,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry. I truly am.”

Finn turned to where Hux had been sitting and his racing heart froze in its tracks. Poe lay there on a bed, peaceful, pale, and unnaturally still. 

“No…”

Finn staggered forward as though sleepwalking and fell to his knees next to the bed. Slowly, fearfully, he reached out and took Poe’s hand; it was still warm, but that warmth was quickly retreating. Hot tears stung Finn’s eyes and a strangled sob escaped his throat. 

“No… Poe… come back to me,” he wept, feeling as though his heart had been ripped from his chest. “Please, come back.”

It wasn’t fair. They’d come all this way searching for him, only to be seconds too late. Finn pressed Poe’s hand to his cheek. It was already so much colder. A wave of panic gripped him; he had to kiss Poe one last time, before his lips too turned to ice. 

Finn reached out with his free hand and ran his fingers through Poe’s sweat-dampened curls. Then he leaned forward and gave Poe a gentle, heartbroken kiss.

A strong wind rushed over the room, but it hadn’t come through the door. Finn barely noticed it, too consumed with grief to care. Then suddenly, Poe breathed in a gasping breath and his eyes flew open. For a moment, he just stared at the ceiling, panting. Then his gaze fell on Finn and he seemed to be able to catch his breath.

“Finn?” he said, his voice hoarse.

“Poe? You… you’re alive?” Finn gasped. “B-but… how…. how did you….”

“I don’t know, I… what happened?”

“I… I kissed you and then you just…. woke up. But I don’t understand, I…”

“Incredible.”

Finn turned. Mot had come toward them, staring at the two of them with wide, wondering eyes.

“I knew all stories held some grain of truth, but I never imagined…” he said.

“Stories?” Rey echoed. “What do you mean?”

“You remember the stories your parents told you as a child?” Mot said.

“Yeah,” Poe and Ren said in unison.

None of the others answered. Their parents had either never told them bedtime stories, or hadn’t been around to tell them.

“What kind of stories?” Finn asked.

“Fairytales. Stories of magic, and monsters, and faraway places.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” said Hux.

“In many of those stories, there was a curse,” said Mot. “One that could only be broken by one thing: true love’s kiss. Now those of us who practice magic have always believed that the magic in these stories has some basis in fact, but never have I heard of true love’s kiss actually breaking a spell.”

“He wasn’t cursed though, he was dead,” said Phasma.

“But he was cursed,” said Hux. “This idiot went and cursed the place again.”

“Anyone who dies here becomes a monster,” Poe explained. “And since I’d died here before…”

“But…” Finn said, “how could me kissing you bring you back to life?”

“Love is the most powerful magic of all,” said Mot. “More powerful than death itself.”

“But you said that’s never actually worked before,” said Ren. “Why now?”

“I’m not sure,” said Mot. “Usually spells can only be broken in specific ways. I’ll have to study-“

“I think I know,” Hux said suddenly.

“Really?” said Rey.

“You wanted to bring your sister back,” said Hux, turning to Mot. “That’s how this new curse came about. Love could break the curse on Dameron because love is what started the curse in the first place.”

“No offense,” said Finn. “But out of everyone here, you’re the last person I expected to figure that out.”

“I dunno,” Poe said. “I’m actually not that surprised.”

Hux blushed and looked down. Finn turned back to Poe, who was smiling up at him as though he’d put the stars in the sky. Finn smiled back.

“What’re you grinning about?” he said.

“You,” Poe said. “You’re here.”

“Of course I am,” said Finn. “You’re here, aren’t you? Where else would I be?”


	11. An Unpayable Debt

Finn and Rey both tried to convince Poe that they should stay for at least a little while to let him recover, but neither Poe nor Hux wanted to stay on the planet a second longer than they had to. And besides, Poe felt fine, for the most part – just tired and hungry really, and he could rest on the ship. The others made him eat something, then they left, leaving Mot with just a few rather uncomfortable good-byes.

The night outside was impenetrably dark, but Poe didn't mind. Finn was here, and they were leaving this planet for good. 

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” Rey said suddenly. “Why did Mot even bring you two here in the first place?”

“Some nonsense about bringing two warring parties together,” Hux scoffed. 

Finn laughed.

“You’re not serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“Too soon, buddy, too soon,” Poe joked.

“Oh right. Sorry,” said Hux. Then he frowned. “Hang on, did you just call me ‘buddy’?”

Poe blanched.

“Sorry. Habit.”

“It’s fine, just a bit… weird.”

They carried on in silence, past the flower-filled meadow, through the forest. They were nearly to the tree line when an unpleasant noise echoed out of the darkness, bringing them all to a halt. 

“Not again,” Poe groaned.

“But the curse –“ Ren said.

“It’s back, remember,” said Hux. 

Everyone drew their weapons and Poe picked up the biggest stick he could find within reach. There was another growl, followed by several more, coming from all sides.

“I say we run,” said Phasma.

“Agreed,” Rey said.

Then they all took off. No sooner had they started running than the corpses burst out of hiding, not just the few remaining of the TIE pilots, but others, more mangled, some of them looking more like charred skeletons than anything. One of the less disfigured corpses lunged at Poe and he whacked it across the face with his stick. A sick feeling rose up inside him as he suddenly recognized the tattered uniform – these corpses were the people who had died when they first crash-landed here. These were his soldiers, people he knew, and now he was fighting their rotting remains.

They reached the clearing and the Falcon loomed up ahead. They were so close to freedom. Suddenly there was a shout and Poe turned to find Finn had disappeared from his side. He looked back and came to a horrified stop. One of the corpses had grabbed him and dragged him down. 

Poe didn’t care that he was barely armed, he had to save Finn. He couldn’t lose him, not here, not now. He ran at the corpse that had him pinned and knocked it aside, shattering his stick into two jagged pieces.He dropped the broken end and grabbed Finn, pulling him up, then they both started running for the Falcon. The others were already there, hovering anxiously at the foot of the ramp, blasters and lightsabers raised to fend off any monster that got too close. Finn had gotten a little bit ahead and was nearly to the Falcon. 

Suddenly, Poe tripped and fell, the wind knocked out of him. He gasped and started to get up, but suddenly a pair of hands grabbed him and yanked him to his feet and he found himself face to face with Hux. They stared at each other for a fraction of a second, then Hux’s gaze shifted to something just behind Poe. A flicker of panic flashed across his face, then he grabbed Poe by the shoulders and whirled them both around so he was standing in the same place Poe had been a moment before. 

Poe’s heart skipped a beat as he noticed the corpse. Then the broken stick it was carrying drove straight through Hux, its splintered, bloodstained point protruding from his chest. The corpse yanked the stick back. Hux’s knees buckled, but Poe caught him before he fell. At the same time, Ren ran at the corpse with a scream of rage and hacked its head off with one vicious swing of his lightsaber.

“Ren, help me! We have to get him out of here, now,” Poe said. “If he dies here, he’ll become one of them!”

Ren shut off his lightsaber and hooked it to his belt, then swept Hux up in his arms as easily as if he were lifting a doll. They hurried on board the Falcon and Finn shut the door behind them.

“Poe, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna need a co-pilot,” said Rey.

“It’s okay, I’ll stay with him,” said Finn, taking Poe’s arm. “I’ll keep you updated.”

“Thank you,” said Poe.

He followed Rey to the cockpit and starting flicking the switches on before he even got to the co-pilot’s chair. Once he sat down and Rey prepared for liftoff, Poe was finally able to take a breath. He realized he was shaking and looked at his hands – they were stained red with Hux’s blood. 

“Are you okay?” Rey asked.

“It doesn’t matter right now.”

They lifted off and arced up and away from the planet. Once they were out of the atmosphere and safe in the blackness of space, Poe leaned back in his seat and allowed some of the tenseness to ease out of his body. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, trying to make sense of his chaotic emotions. He knew he shouldn’t be this upset over his enemy’s impending death, but Hux had just sacrificed himself for Poe. That wouldn’t be an easy thing to live with. 

“Poe,” Finn’s voice suddenly came in over the comms. “You better get down here. Quick.”

He sounded grim. Poe swallowed hard and opened his eyes.

“Go,” Rey said. “I’ve got things up here.”

Poe nodded and hurried back to the main cabin. Hux lay on the bed, Ren kneeling at his side. Phasma stood not far behind them, her helmet under her arm and her head bowed. Finn stood in the doorway, looking like an outsider observing the scene. As Poe came into the cabin, their hands brushed and Finn gave him an apologetic look. Poe stepped forward, hovering a little ways away, not wanting to intrude. But Hux gestured for him to come closer. Poe did, though he still kept his distance.

“Thanks for getting me out of there,” Hux whispered.

“Just returning the favor,” said Poe. “Thanks for saving me.”

For a moment, it almost looked like Hux smiled. Then, his face went slack and his body stilled. Poe’s heart skipped a beat and he almost rushed forward, as though he could stop this by being closer, by grabbing his hand. But something caught him and he stepped back, slowly backing out of the room, barely aware of Ren’s mournful sobs. He froze for a moment in the hallway. Then he turned and went back to the cockpit. 

He stopped in the doorway, still in a sort of trance. Rey turned to look at him.

“Is he…?”

“He’s gone.”

Poe sat down in the co-pilot seat, avoiding Rey’s eyes.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Poe said unconvincingly.

He could feel Rey watching him, calculating.

“I know you don’t feel like you’re allowed to grieve because of who he was,” she said. “But it’s okay.”

Poe flinched at her use of the past tense, but said nothing at first. He picked absentmindedly at a fleck of peeling paint on the console, trying and failing to make enough sense of all he was feeling to put it into words.

“I think a messed up part of me expected to be relieved,” he said at last. “But I’m not. He’s dead and I… it’s because of me, he let himself get _killed_ for me and I… I don’t know what to do with that. How can I pay a debt to a dead man?”

“That’s the point of a sacrifice, isn’t it?” said Rey. “You don't have to.”

Poe glanced at her uncertainly, then looked back down at his still bloodstained hands. Hux’s blood. He grimaced, painfully aware of the metaphor, and tried to wipe off some of it on his pants with little success. He balled his hands into fists and spun his chair to face forward, staring out at the stars. Just then, Finn entered the cockpit.

“Poe,” he said, sounding surprised. “I didn’t expect you to be in here. I thought you’d want to be alone.”

Poe swallowed hard, determined not to show more than he had to. He couldn’t mourn, no matter what Rey said. But that word just kept echoing in his head – _alone_.

“No, I… I couldn’t,” he said. His voice cracked and he hated it. “Sorry I sorta booked it out of there, I just…”

“It’s okay,” said Finn. “I left pretty quick too.”

“How’s Ren?” Poe asked.

It was easier talking about someone else’s grief.

“As you’d expect,” said Finn, sitting down. 

They all went quiet. Poe wasn’t sure what was worse, talking about what had happened, or silence.


	12. Stages of Grief

Ren knelt by Hux’s body, leaning heavily against the bunk. He was utterly exhausted, drained, every tear he could shed had been spent. A small, rational part of him knew that staying in the same room as Hux wasn’t going to make this any easier. But he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t be alone. He couldn’t leave Hux alone. He knew Hux was beyond caring about that now, but… he had to stay with him. 

Hux’s hand was cold in his, but still soft, and so pale. He had always been pale, having spent so much of his life on a starship, but now he was ghostly, his pallor so overwhelming that it seemed he would just fade away. A strand of hair, still stiff with gel, had fallen out of place, made more fiery against his snowy skin. Ren reached out with a trembling hand and smoothed it back, then leaned in and kissed his lips. They were so cold, like kissing marble. There was no gust of wind, no gasping for breath. No curse to be lifted. Hux was simply dead.

Not that Ren had expected that to work. Mot may have spoken of magic and fairytales, but Ren knew it was the mysterious Force bond between Finn and Dameron that had actually broken the curse. And for all his power and strength with the Force, that was a power Ren did not possess. He was more attuned to Hux than to anyone else, could speak with him in thought, and he knew he’d have felt Hux breath his last just as strongly from the other side of the galaxy as he had here in this room. But their bond did not hold much more power than that. It couldn’t reach across lightyears and break curses. He and Hux just weren’t good enough at love for that.

“Sir?”

Phasma had appeared in the doorway. Ren turned his head just enough to acknowledge her.

“We’re coming up on the rendezvous,” she said. “It’s almost time.”

Ren nodded and she left. He turned back to Hux and just stared, taking in every detail of his face, until he felt the ship touch down on land. Then he finally stood and let Hux’s hand fall from his. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to become composed, stoic. Then he bent down and lifted Hux in his arms. 

The others waited at the head of the ramp, lined up almost like a funeral procession. Ren’s gaze fell on Dameron. There was blood on his hands and he was wearing an expression of such forced neutrality that he looked like he was in pain. Ren felt a sickening wave of anger wash over him, directed at Dameron. He had gotten to live and Hux had not. He had no right to his grief. But Ren bit his tongue and walked on, following Phasma off the Millennium Falcon and back to their own ship.

Once they were on board, Ren gently lay Hux down, then went to the cockpit and started the engines. He watched through the viewport as the Falcon flew up and away from the moon, then switched off the landing gear and steered them away. As the moon grew smaller behind them, he took them to hyperspace and set in the coordinates, but stayed in his seat.

“Sir,” Phasma said, breaking the silence. “Those… aren’t the coordinates for the _Finalizer_.”

“I know,” said Ren. “We’re not returning to the _Finalizer_. Not yet.”

“Where are we going?”

He could hear the trepidation in her voice.

“We’re going to bring the general back.”


	13. Back Into Hell

They had made the jump to light speed and Rey had left the cockpit to go check on some things, leaving Poe and Finn alone. Poe just stared out the viewport at the stars as they sped past. He didn’t want to talk, but the silence was torture. 

“Are you okay?” Finn asked.

Poe shrugged. He really didn’t know how else to answer.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No.” Poe spun his chair around to face Finn and took his hand. “I don’t want to be alone. I can’t.”

Finn lifted Poe’s hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Talk to me,” he said.

Poe let out a long, slow breath. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk yet,” he admitted.

Finn nodded.

“It’s okay. I’ll be here when you are.”

“Thanks.”

Poe leaned back in his seat, still holding Finn’s hand. For a while, they just sat there, perfectly quiet. Then suddenly, the silence was broken by a quiet beep. They both sat bolt upright, frowning. Poe turned to the console.

“Hey Rey,” Finn called.

There was a long pause, during which the console beeped again, then Rey appeared in the doorway.

“What is it?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”

“I think someone’s trying to communicate with us,” said Finn.

Rey turned to the flashing light as it beeped again.

“Well, don’t just stand around staring at it,” she said. “Answer it!”

Poe pushed the button to open the hailing frequency.

“This is the Millennium Falcon,” he said. “Who is this?”

“It’s Captain Phasma,” the voice on the other end replied. 

She sounded tense. Poe exchanged a glance with the others, then turned back to the console.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“It’s Lord Ren,” Phasma said. “He’s… well, there’s no other way of putting it, he’s completely lost it. He’s dragging us back to that _place_. He thinks he can get the necromancer to bring General Hux back.”

Poe swallowed hard.

“He does realize the curse could turn Hux into a corpse, right?”

“I’ve told him that, but he won’t listen,” said Phasma. “He’s mad with grief. I can’t get through to him.”

“Shit…”

Poe ran a hand through his hair. He knew what Phasma wanted from them, and he knew Finn and Rey wouldn’t be pleased. But he couldn’t just ignore this.

“Alright, hang in there,” he said. “Don’t try to fight him on it, just go with him. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

“Thank you,” said Phasma.

The frequency line closed and Poe braced himself for the incoming storm.

“We will?” said Rey. “You didn’t think we should, I dunno, discuss that first?”

“She asked for our help,” said Poe. “We couldn’t just deny her.”

“Poe, maybe you forgot, but you _died_ because you went back to that planet,” said Finn. “What if that happens again? I might not be able to save you a second time.”

Poe sighed.

“I know. But I have to risk it.”

“You don’t _have_ to do anything,” said Rey.

“It’s the least I can do.”

Finn and Rey exchanged a look.

“Okay,” said Finn. “Let’s do this.”

Poe stared.

“You’re serious?”

“Of course.”

Rey got into the pilot’s chair and punched in the coordinates.

“If there’s even the slightest _hint_ that the curse is effecting you,” she said, “then we’re leaving. I don’t care. I’ll drag you onto the ship by the hair if I have to. You are _not_ dying on us again.”

Poe nodded.

“Deal.”


	14. If You Love Me, Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "This is Gospel" by Panic! At The Disco
> 
> warning: this is the chapter where all the gruesome heavy stuff happens

Poe couldn’t deny the dread he felt as they approached the planet’s surface. He’d so believed that he would never have to set foot there again. But he’d given Phasma his word. And doing this felt like the only way he could repay Hux for saving his life. 

They broke through the cloud cover and immediately Poe could tell something was wrong. It was dark, but not the usual dark of night. The air seemed to glow and hum with a strange, eerie light that did nothing to brighten the area. They touched down in the clearing and disembarked, grabbing weapons on the way out. The air was cold in an unnatural, clammy way. There was something almost vaguely familiar about it.

“What the hell happened here?” Poe said. “We weren’t even gone that long.”

“Mot’s done something, hasn’t he?” said Rey. “It’s another curse.”

“Yeah, but what kind?” Finn said.

They slowly, tentatively left the shadow of the Falcon. Ren’s shuttle was parked in the other half of the clearing, but there was no sign of anyone there. 

“They must already be at Mot’s hut,” said Rey. “Come on.”

As they began to make their way toward the trees, Poe glanced up. Drifting through the air above them were several ghostly forms, flitting around like fish in a stream.

“What are those things?” he said, quieter than he’d intended.

The others looked up.

“I don’t know,” said Finn. “But they’re kinda creeping me out.”

Just then, one of the things swooped past them. It was the figure of a young woman with long black hair that fell in curtains around her face. She paused just long enough to stare at them, then flew away.

“That was Kala,” Rey gasped. “The smuggler we ran into when we were here the first time.”

“The one that tried to kill Poe?” Finn said.

“I thought she looked familiar…” said Poe.

“They’re ghosts,” said Rey. “All of them.”

Sure enough, the longer Poe stared, the more humanoid the figures looked.

“I wonder if they’re all people who died here or if there are… others.”

“I dunno,” said Rey. “But… they seem sad. Trapped.”

“Come on,” said Finn; he looked rather uncomfortable with the whole situation. “We should keep going.”

Poe forced himself to turn away from the ghosts and they continued on into the forest. Suddenly, Rey let out a startled yelp and dropped her blaster. Poe and Finn whipped around. A very familiar ghost had come up behind her and grabbed her pinning her arms behind her back. 

“Ori,” said Poe.

“Let her go!” Finn demanded.

“Didn’t work before, _really_ won't work now,” said Ori. 

Poe raised his blaster, aiming it at the same spot on Ori’s head that he’d shot before, his hand shaking.

“That’s not gonna work now,” Ori said. “Can’t kill a dead man.”

“I didn’t want to kill you,” said Poe.

“Then why did you?”

“You gave me no choice.”

“You had a choice!” Ori shouted, making Rey flinch. “And you chose to _murder_ me!”

Poe lowered his blaster. His hand was shaking too badly now; if he tried to use it on Ori he’d be more likely to shoot Rey by accident. Finn stepped forward, tucking his own blaster into its holster.

“Look, I know you’re upset,” he said. “You’re dead, and now you’ve been dragged to this place and it doesn’t make sense. You’re scared and confused and angry. But we can help you.”

Poe and Rey both stared at him incredulously. Finn had to be bluffing. 

“Why should I trust you?” said Ori.

“We know the man who did this, who trapped you here,” said Finn. “We can make this stop. You can be at peace again.”

Ori hesitated. 

“How?”

“It was a curse, but we can reverse it. Just let Rey go, and we can help.”

Slowly, reluctantly, Ori relinquished his hold on Rey. She scooped up her blaster and ran over to Poe and Finn, grabbing onto both their arms. Then, as suddenly as he’d arrived, Ori darted away. Poe let out a sigh of relief.

“Are you okay?” Finn asked.

Rey nodded.

“Thanks for that,” she said. “That was absolutely brilliant.”

“Yeah, well, I just hope Mot can deliver,” said Finn.

“Let’s get this over with,” said Poe.

He had been curious about the ghosts before, but now he just felt sick. Killing someone was hard enough, but they weren’t supposed to come back and confront you for it. They carried on and reached the hut without further incident, but as they approached, Poe’s heart sank. The door had been knocked down and one wall had been completely blown away. 

“Could Ren have done this?” Rey said quietly.

“He’s heartbroken,” said Finn. “He could do anything.”

Poe tightened his grip on his blaster and they stepped inside. Ren loomed in the middle of the room, towering over Mot, who was kneeling over Hux’s body, laid out on the bed against the wall. Standing in the corner, as far away as possible, was Phasma. When she saw them enter, she let out a sigh of relief. Poe gave her a nod, then took a careful step toward Ren, tucking his blaster into his belt.

“Ren,” he said. “Listen to me, you’ve gotta give this up.”

Ren ignored him. The air in the room was thick with tension.

“Ren, come on,” Poe pleaded. “He’s gonna turn into one of those corpses if you keep him here much longer. This isn’t worth that. Please, just… get him back on your ship and leave this planet. Ren, listen to me, dammit. It’s not going to work.”

Poe huffed in frustration. Nothing was getting through to him. 

“Ben!” he shouted.

It just spilled out, out of desperation. For half a second, it seemed like he’d get away with it. Then Ren whipped around and ignited his lightsaber, aiming the point at Poe’s throat. Poe tensed but stood his ground. Finn and Rey started to come to his defense, but he held up a hand and they stopped, however reluctantly. 

“It’s too late,” Poe said. “You know it is. He’s dead.”

“You came back,” said Ren challengingly. “Why can’t he?”

“Think about what Hux would want,” said Poe, forcing his voice to remain calm. “I know you’re hurting but –“

“What do you know of loss?” Ren spat. “Nothing! Maybe it’s time you learned.”

He lifted his free hand and suddenly summoned Finn to him, catching him by the throat. Finn’s eyes widened and he clutched at Ren’s hand, trying fruitlessly to pry his fingers away. 

“No, please!” Poe begged, all attempts at calm fled. “Let him go!”

“No,” said Ren; his voice dripped with venom, but his eyes shone with tears. “It’s your fault Hux is dead. You murdered my love, so I’ll murder yours.”

Poe glanced at Rey. She was obviously so desperate to help Finn, but worried that any attempt might cause Ren to use the lightsaber still aimed at Poe’s throat. It was up to Poe to stop this. He was the only one who could.

“Please, Ren, don’t hurt him. He has nothing to do with this. I’ll do anything you want, you can kill me, I don’t care. Just let him go!”

Ren didn’t let up. Finn’s attempts at loosening Ren’s grip were getting weaker. Poe swallowed back the lump forming in his throat; he couldn’t cry now, not when Finn needed him.

“I’m sorry, Ren, okay?” he said. “I’m sorry. You’re right, it’s my fault. It’s my fault, and I am never gonna forgive myself for it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Something flickered behind Ren’s eyes and at last he let go. Finn collapsed to his knees, coughing and gasping for air. Poe and Rey were by his side in an instant.

“Are you okay?” Rey asked.

Finn just nodded. Poe took his face in his hands and kissed him on the forehead.

“I’m sorry, Finn, I’m so sorry,” he said.

Finn leaned into him and closed his eyes, finally starting to catch his breath. Poe kissed his forehead again, then glanced over at Ren. He had fallen to his knees, his face in his hands, overwhelmed by grief. Poe almost pitied him in spite of himself. 

“Ren,” he said softly. “I… I meant what I said. I really am sorry.”

Ren’s only response was a muffled sob. Poe rested his cheek against the top of Finn’s head and closed his eyes. A single tear escaped him, tickling at the corner of his nose as it made its way down his face. And then the tears started falling in earnest, all the things he’d been bottling up since Hux had sacrificed himself suddenly spilling over. Hux was dead and it was his fault, and he’d just nearly gotten Finn killed too. 

He turned his head slightly to press a kiss to Finn’s temple, and caught Rey’s eye. She looked so sad and worried, but when their eyes met, she gave him a small nod. There was forgiveness in her expression, understanding. She didn’t blame him for what had nearly happened. Poe knew he would never forgive himself; he didn’t deserve Rey’s forgiveness, but it was a comfort all the same.

As he turned away, something caught his eye that he hadn’t noticed before. A large mirror, propped against the wall, that certainly hadn’t been in the hut any of the previous times Poe had been there. But stranger than the mirror’s sudden appearance was the image inside it. Rather than reflecting the room, the mirror showed a woman, probably around fifty years old, dressed in simple clothes. She looked profoundly sad, but when she noticed Poe staring, she gave him a smile. 

Poe stood up and walked toward the mirror, entranced. He stopped about half a foot away from it and just stared. There was something oddly familiar about the woman, though he couldn’t explain what. Slowly, he reached out. His fingers were almost brushing the glass when suddenly Mot spoke.

“I’ve done it.”

Poe turned, jolted from his trance. Mot was on his feet, and on the bed beside him, Hux was stirring. Ren rushed to his side just as Hux woke up. There was a tense moment as he stared around, then his gaze fell on Ren.

“What the bloody hell are we doing back here?” he demanded.

Ren beamed. Poe had never seen anyone look so happy to be snapped at in his life. Hux stared up at Ren, his expression a mixture of concern and irritation that only he could have managed.

“You look an absolute mess, Ren,” he said.

“You were dead,” Ren said. “Can you blame me?”

“That's right. I was, wasn’t I….” Realization dawned on Hux’s face. “Oh, _that’s_ why we’re here. You dragged me back to this place to bring me back.”

“Bit slow on the uptake,” Ren teased.

“Temporary side effect of returning from the dead,” said Poe. 

Everyone’s attention turned to him, and he felt suddenly awkward, like he should be ashamed to even speak after what had happened. Ren looked a bit like he wanted to smack him for daring to open his mouth. But Hux just gave him a curious look.

“Any other side effects I should know of?” he asked. “Any more… permanent ones?”

“Nightmares,” said Poe. “Restlessness. The occasional twinge from the wound that killed you.”

“Doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Just… don’t keep it to yourself, okay?” Poe said. “If it gets bad… don’t bottle it up.”

He glanced over at Finn, who nodded encouragingly.

“I’ll try not to,” said Hux. “No promises though. You know me and… emotions.”

He said the last word with mild distaste. Poe chuckled and turned back to the mirror. The woman was still staring at him, and suddenly he knew who she was.

“She’s your sister, isn’t she?” he said.

The room went quiet.

“Yes,” said Mot. “Yes, she is.”

“How?” Poe asked. “How did you bring her back?”

“It was because of you, my boy,” Mot said, coming over to join him in front of the mirror. “When you asked me to do the mirror spell for you. I realized that was the way to bring her back. She has no physical body to return to anymore, so she needed someplace for her spirit to go. So I put her in the mirror.”

“You realize you brought the whole spirit world with her, right?” said Finn. “The planet is swarming with ghosts.”

“Yes, I know,” said Mot. “But… I have what I’ve always worked for. I have my sister back. And that’s not all.”

He waved his hand over the mirror and the surface rippled like a pond. His sister faded away and was replaced by another woman, younger, with dark hair and a restless fire in her eyes. Poe’s heart skipped a beat.

“Mom?” he breathed.

“I had a feeling you might be back,” said Mot. “So I took the liberty of bringing her here for you.”

“Hello again,” said Shara, smiling. “I’m glad to see you alive this time.”

Poe smiled, his eyes filled with tears.

“I can’t believe it,” he said. “Is it really you?”

“Of course.”

Poe reached out again and pressed his hand to the glass. But that’s all it was: glass. Cold and hard and impenetrable. 

“We can’t touch,” said Shara. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” said Poe, though he wanted nothing more than to feel her arms around him. “It’s enough just to see you, talk to you, and… be able to remember it.”

“You’ll have forgotten, but last time we saw each other, you mentioned a young man named Finn,” Shara said. “I’d love to meet him.”

As if on cue, Finn was at his side. He was smiling, but Poe could see agony hiding behind it.

“Ah, you must be him,” said Shara.

“Poe talked about me?” Finn said.

“Of course I did,” said Poe.

“A lot,” Shara added with a teasing grin. “My son being good to you?”

“Yes ma’am,” said Finn.

“And you’re being good to my son?”

“Too good,” said Poe.

Shara smiled again, though there was a hint of sadness to it.

“I miss you, Poe,” she said. “But I’m glad you got a second chance at life. You deserve a longer life than I got to have. A full life.”

“You’re talking like you’re going away,” said Poe.

“I have to. We can’t just stay like this forever.”

“Why not?”

“You can’t live your life in front of a mirror, Poe,” said Shara. “And those people out there, they should be at peace. This has to end.”

“You know about them?” said Finn.

“We’re all from the same place.”

“But if the spell ends,” said Poe. “Then you’ll leave. I won’t see you again.”

“You will, someday. Though, a day very far from now,” Shara added sternly.

Poe shook his head.

“I can’t just let you go.”

“You must.”

“Then take me with you,” Poe said.

“You don’t want that.”

“Why not?”

Shara gave him a look and her focused changed. Poe followed her gaze and his eyes fell on Finn, who looked more heartbroken than he had ever seen him.

“It’s okay,” Finn said quietly, defeatedly. “If this is what you want. I won’t stop you.”

Poe swallowed hard. He had been so caught up, so entranced by the effects of Mot’s spell, he hadn’t even thought about Finn. He felt horrible, selfish.

“You have a life, my son,” said Shara. “A beautiful life that deserves to be lived. There are people here that love you, and would miss you so terribly it would break them. You belong here. I’ve been dead a long time. That’s where I belong. You have to let me go, son.”

Poe turned back to her. He wanted so badly to have his mother back, but he knew she was right. He reached out and pressed his hand to the mirror again. On the other side, Shara did the same. Though the palms of their hands appeared to be touching, all Poe felt was cold glass. He took a deep breath, then nodded.

“I’m proud of you, Poe,” said Shara. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Her image faded away. For a moment, the mirror was blank. Then, the image of Mot’s sister returned. Poe let his hand fall back to his side. Finn took it, interlacing their fingers. 

“Thank you,” he said.

Poe turned to him.

“For what?”

“For choosing life.”

Poe lifted their clasped hands and pressed a kiss to Finn’s knuckles.

“I chose you,” he said. “But now we’ve got work to do.”

He turned, still holding Finn’s hand, to face Mot. 

“You can’t keep this up,” he said. “My mother was right. Those people are trapped out there. Being brought back to life is a jarring experience as it is, I can’t even imagine what sort of half-life they’re suffering in. They should be at peace. And you know there’s only one way to make that happen.”

Mot’s expression turned cold.

“I know what you’re asking of me,” he said. “But I won’t do it.”

“You have to let her go, Mot,” said Poe. “She’s just as trapped here as they are.”

“I can’t.”

“Give the man a break, Dameron,” said Hux, sitting up. “You don’t always have to be the hero.”

“Oh, now you’re on his side, huh?” Poe said.

“Not really. But when have I ever been on your side either?”

“Well, you did kind of die for him,” Rey pointed out.

Hux just rolled his eyes.

“Mot, I mean it,” said Poe. “This has to end, and only you can end it.”

Mot shook his head.

“I can’t do it,” he said. “I’ve tried all these years to get her back and now I finally have her.”

“But did you ever stop to think what she would have wanted?” Finn said. “Or what Poe wanted? Or Hux? Or any of the people who’ve been affected by your spells? Look, I’m grateful as hell to have Poe back, but… I’ve also seen what it did to him. You just saw it too. People aren’t supposed to come back from the dead. There’s a reason for that.”

“Are you suggesting she’s… unhappy?” said Mot. “That she’d rather be _there_ than here with me?”

“Why don’t you ask her?” said Finn.

Reluctantly, Mot stepped in front of the mirror.

“Hello Veanna,” he said quietly.

“Oh Mot. My dear brother,” the woman said fondly. “You always wanted to fix everything, ever since we were children.”

“And I always managed to muck things up even more,” Mot said. “I suppose I should have seen all this coming.”

Veanna gave him a sad smile.

“You can’t fix everything,” she said. “Death is a part of the natural order. Every life ends, even if some are cut too short. It’s time you accepted that. Your friends are right. I don’t belong here anymore. You have to set me free so that all these lost spirits can go home.”

“I know,” said Mot, his voice thick with tears.

Slowly, he pulled a shimmering bottle from the pocket of his robe and uncorked it, then reached up and let the contents stream down the face of the mirror. For a moment it looked so serene, the glittering substance trickling over the glass like a waterfall. Then, a strong wind began to blow, swirling through the blasted open side of the hut. As the wind reached hurricane force, a sudden stream of white light started pouring through the open wall and into the mirror. 

“The ghosts,” Rey gasped.

She was right. As Poe stared, he started noticing individual figures within the stream. The wind grew even stronger and Poe felt a strange tugging in his chest, like part of him was trying to follow the ghosts into the mirror. He gripped Finn’s hand tighter. He refused to give in. Fuck curses – it didn’t matter that he’d once been dead, he was alive now. He had a life and he’d be damned if he didn’t live it.

Finally, the end was in sight. The last spirit flew past, shattering the mirror as it disappeared. The wind stopped as suddenly as it came and hundreds of glass shards crashed to the ground. Then everything was still. Poe exhaled slowly, loosening his ironclad grip on Finn’s hand. He looked over at Hux, who sat bolt upright on the edge of the bed, clutching Ren’s arm with a wide-eyed, uncomfortable look on his face. Clearly he had experienced the same thing, that tugging feeling trying to coax him back to the land of the dead.

Poe turned back to where the mirror once stood. Mot knelt on the ground, surrounded by glittering fragments of glass. He looked utterly defeated. Poe let his hand slip from Finn’s and walked toward him, kneeling by his side.

“Mot?” he said quietly. “Are you alright?”

“I know it was the right thing to do,” Mot said. “But I still can’t let her go.”

“You can’t try any more spells, you know that,” said Poe.

“I know. But I don’t need a spell to see her.”

“Of course not,” said Poe, glad they were getting somewhere. “She’s your sister, you love her. She’ll always be –“

But he didn’t get to finish his sentence. It happened so fast he barely had time to react. Mot picked up a shard of broken glass and plunged it into his own throat.

“No!” Poe shouted.

He dove forward and, driven by some stupid, illogical instinct, grabbed at the offending fragment and yanked it away. The edges of the glass cut into his hand and he dropped it. A fresh spurt of blood poured from Mot’s wound, draining his life quicker and washing both himself and Poe in a river of scarlet. Poe grabbed Mot by the shoulders, as though that would somehow help, but he was already gone. His face was white, eyes wide and unseeing, staring just past Poe into open air.

Poe couldn’t move, frozen in place by shock and horror, his mind numb to everything but the pool of blood he knelt in. Someone’s hand gripped his shoulder, but he didn’t react. He couldn’t.

“Poe.” It was Rey. “Poe, come on. You have to get up.”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t move.

“Please, Poe,” Rey said. She was pleading now. “Look at me!”

For some reason, that order snapped him out of it and he turned to face her. She looked about as horrified as he felt. 

“We need to go,” Rey said, trying to keep her voice calm and gentle, despite the fact that she was visibly trembling.

“No,” Poe said.

He’d meant to say more, but nothing else would come out. Rey looked, if possible, even more distressed than before.

“You can’t just stay here,” she said, forced calm slipping away. “Look at this place, look at yourself, it’s a nightmare in here!”

All her attempts at composure had fallen apart. Finn stepped forward, though he looked no better off, and took her by the arm. He glanced over at Poe, clearly wanting to help him too, but Rey had dissolved into sobs in his arms. Suddenly, someone grabbed Poe from behind and dragged him to his feet. He tried to struggle but was forced to turn around and found himself staring at Hux. 

“What are you doing?” Poe demanded. Of course he had to find his voice _now_. “Let go of me.”

“I’m getting you out of this damn house,” Hux said.

“We can’t just leave him there,” said Poe.

“We won’t.” Hux seemed to soften a bit. “We’ll take care of him. I promise.”

Poe stared at him a moment, slowly becoming aware of just how much he was shaking. Then he nodded. Hux took him by the shoulder and steered him toward the door.

“Get those two outside as well,” he said as they passed Phasma.

Once they were outside, Hux forced Poe down onto a stump, then took off his coat and draped it over Poe’s shoulders. It was heavy and comically huge on him, but the weight of it seemed to ground him somehow.

“What’s this for?” Poe said.

“You’re in shock,” said Hux. 

Poe looked up at him and pulled the coat tighter around his shoulders. Just then, Ren and Phasma came outside, leading Finn and Rey. Rey immediately sat down in the grass, clutching her knees to her chest. But Finn made a beeline for Poe. He didn’t say anything, just sat at his feet and rested his head on Poe’s thigh, and that by itself was comfort enough. 


	15. The Parting of Ways

It was a long time before any of them were ready to move, let alone face the body inside the hut. Poe sat on the stump, enveloped in Hux’s coat; Finn was at his side, his eyes closed as Poe stroked his hair. Rey hadn’t moved from her spot in the grass, except to rearrange herself – she was now sitting cross-legged, yanking up blades of grass by the handful and anxiously fiddling with them, tying them in knots. Hux stood a little ways away from them all, chainsmoking, his hands shaking every time he went to light up again. Ren sat against a tree with his head in his hands, his dark hair hiding his face. And Phasma stood sentinel-like by the door of the hut; it was like she was keeping watch – over Mot’s body, over the messy collection of traumatized people scattered before her – silent and stoic as a statue.

Ren was the first to move. He lifted his head, running his hands through his hair to push it out of his face.

“I’m sorry, Dameron,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Poe jumped slightly, startled by the sudden noise and the fact that it was directed at him.

“You… what?” he said.

“I’m sorry,” Ren repeated. “For what I did. What I said. I’m sorry for threatening you. And… Finn… I’m sorry too.”

Poe and Finn exchanged a look.

“It’s not easy to forgive someone who tried to strangle you,” said Finn. “But… I do get it. You were grieving. You wanted Hux back. And we were trying to stop that from happening.”

“You don’t have to forgive me,” said Ren. “I know we’re all sort of… beyond any of that. I just wanted you to know that I _am_ sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” said Poe. “For all of it.”

Ren nodded in acknowledgement. They fell silent again for a while, then Hux stepped forward, stamping out what must have been his seventh cigarette.

“What should we do with the body?” he asked.

Practical as always. But there was a slight tremor in his voice.

“Burn it,” Poe said. “I don’t wanna risk any lingering curses getting hold of him. I don’t know if his magic can outlive him, but… I’d just rather not risk it.”

Ren suddenly stood up. He waved his hand and logs and branches from the woodpile and the forest floor began to levitate, soaring gracefully through the air and arranging themselves into a funeral pyre. When the last log had settled into place, he lowered his hand.

“I’ll bring out the body,” he said.

Then he swept past them into the hut. Slowly, the others all got to their feet and gathered in front of the pyre. Poe was the last to move. It wasn’t until Ren returned with Mot’s body, wrapped in a blanket, that he finally stood. He felt vaguely ridiculous with Hux’s massive coat practically dragging on the ground as he walked, but he felt strangely reluctant to give it up just yet. He came to a stop between Finn and Hux and watched silently as Ren placed Mot’s body on top of the pyre. 

Ren bent down and picked up a stray branch, then tore off a strip of the blanket and wrapped it tightly around the end to make a torch. Hux took out his lighter and lit it, then took the torch and held it out to Poe.

“Care to do the honors?” he said.

Poe hesitated a moment, then took the torch. He stepped forward, his eyes fixed on the dark silhouette of Mot’s body, then held the torch to the pyre. Flames leapt up almost immediately and began crawling over the wood until the whole thing was enveloped in fire. Poe tossed the torch into the blaze and stepped back into line with the others. As the flames grew hotter and higher, Finn reached between the folds of the coat and took Poe’s hand. Poe turned to look at him and gave his hand a squeeze.

After a while, Poe turned away from the burning pyre, and the others followed suit; it was like they had all been waiting for his signal, for him to be ready. No one looked back as they made their way into the forest and away from the hut. As the trees swallowed them up, the light of the pyre faded away, making the darkness seem even blacker. They passed the meadow, its yellow flowers standing out against the night, somehow still too bright. 

Poe glanced back at the meadow, at the little patch of dead flowers arranged in the center. Really, that was the place that started all this madness. The place where their fates turned on a dime, as he let himself be killed by the man whose coat he was now wearing. Poe dragged his eyes away and looked over at Hux, who was walking hand in hand with Ren. He doubted he would ever understand that man.

They continued on until they reached the clearing where their two ships were parked. They just stood there for a few minutes, staring at the vehicles that would carry them home, finally free of this planet forever.

“Well,” said Rey, breaking the silence at last. “I guess this is it.”

“So it would seem,” said Ren.

Poe let go of Finn’s hand and shrugged the coat off his shoulders, holding it out to Hux.

“Thanks,” he said.

Hux gave him an odd look, then took the coat.

“You’re welcome.”

“Sorry I, uh… probably got some blood on it,” said Poe.

“It’s fine, there was blood on it anyway,” said Hux. “And a hole in the back, now I think about it. Getting impaled really does have its drawbacks.”

Poe chuckled. They stared at each other a moment, neither quite sure what to say. What was one supposed to say when saying goodbye to a man who’s supposed to be your enemy? There was no precedent to this sort of farewell.

“I don’t know how I can repay you,” said Poe. “You’ve saved my life so many times… there’s no way I can pay off that debt.”

“Just live your life, while you can,” said Hux. “And live it well.”

“Hardly seems like a fair trade,” Poe said. “What do you get out of that?”

Hux paused, contemplating.

“A new perspective,” he said finally.

“On what?”

“… We’ll see.” Hux hesitated, looking uncharacteristically shy all of a sudden. “You know… strange as it may seem… I believe… I might almost consider you a friend.”

Poe smiled.

“Me too,” he said.

Hux held out his hand, but Poe ignored it, pulling him into a hug instead. Hux froze, obviously alarmed, then awkwardly halfway returned the hug. Poe frowned; this was a little too weird, even for him.

“Too much?” he said.

“Yes, perhaps a bit,” Hux replied.

They pulled away and Hux held out his hand again. This time, Poe took it. It was a brief handshake, but the look between them said a thousand things they didn’t know how to say out loud. It was all too complicated for words, and none of it would matter once they flew off in their separate ships. They dropped hands, but neither of them turned away.

“Goodbye, Hux,” said Poe.

“Goodbye… Poe.”

Poe smiled and Hux almost smiled back. Then they turned and parted ways.


	16. For You

The ramp of the shuttle lifted shut behind them. Hux, Ren, and Phasma went to the cockpit and settled in. Through the viewport window, Hux could see the pale light of dawn starting to peek around the treetops. A new day would soon grace this planet with no one alive to see it. 

Ren started the engines and turned off the landing gear, then they rose into the air. There was a strange, unfamiliar feeling mixed with Hux’s relief as he watched the forest below shrink into a dark mass. It was as if… a part of him would almost miss this part of his life, horrific as it had been.

Once they had made the jump to lightspeed, Phasma retreated into the cabin, leaving Hux and Ren alone in the cockpit. Hux sighed and leaned back in his seat, then noticed Ren staring at him, a fond smile on his face.

“You know,” said Hux, giving Ren a smirk. “I’m not sure how comfortable I feel with you flying this ship while staring at me like that.”

Ren smirked back and typed in the proper coordinates, then switched on autopilot.

“Comfortable now?” he said.

“Almost.”

Hux leaned toward him and Ren met him in the middle, their lips barely brushing in a kiss. This wouldn’t do. Hux unstrapped himself from his seat and all but crawled into Ren’s lap, straddling him, then kissed him with as much passion as he could muster. Ren’s arms snaked around his waist, his large hands cradling Hux’s lower back. Hux let his arms drape lazily over Ren’s shoulders. When he finally came up for air, he was startled to find tears on his own face. Ren looked startled too.

“Are you alright?” he said.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Hux said, though he wasn’t entirely sure it was true.

“You’re crying,” said Ren. “I’ve never seen you cry before.”

“I don’t really. Not unless I’m very sad or very drunk. Or both.”

Ren looked up at him, a curious expression on his face.

“You’re not sad now,” he said.

“No, I’m not. I’m… I think I’m happy,” said Hux. Happy tears. That was strange. “I just… you came back for me. And then… you went back there when I was dead and fought to bring me back.”

“Of course I did,” said Ren.

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t.”

“You doubted my love for you?”

“No, I…” Hux thought a moment before answering. “No one’s ever loved me enough before. No one’s ever loved me at all. But you do.”

“Yes,” said Ren. “I would burn down the entire galaxy for you.”

Hux swallowed hard and took in a deep, shuddering breath. Then he smiled.

“If I hadn’t gotten you back,” Ren said, his head dipping down, hair falling over his face. “I would have. I’d have shattered that entire planet from the inside out, with me still on it.”

“I don’t doubt it,” said Hux. “I’ve seen your temper.”

Then he softened, and gently lifted Ren’s chin to look at him.

“When I was dying… I was almost at peace with it, knowing you were beside me, that you loved me enough to come for me.”

“Almost?” Ren said.

“My one regret… the same one I had when I thought I’d lost you, what feels like centuries ago… was that you wouldn’t know just how strongly I love you in return,” said Hux. “If our places had been reversed, I would have hunted for a hundred years to find you. I would bring the galaxy to its knees if you asked. And if you died… I’m sure I would die then and there from the pain of it.”

“Hux…”

“I mean, I’d also drag the bastards who did it to hell along with me, but that doesn’t sound quite as poetic.”

Ren smiled.

“I think it sounds perfectly poetic.”

“Well. You would.”

Hux smirked, leaning in to kiss him again.

“I do know,” Ren breathed, the words tickling against Hux’s lips. “Neither of us are particularly good at showing our love, by most people’s standards. But… the way we do show it… there’s no way I could be unaware of the power of your love for me. You don’t need to fear that I don’t know. I do.”

Hux could feel his tear ducts threatening to betray him again, so he pressed his lips against Ren’s. Besides, he could think of no more sufficient response.


	17. We'll Be Okay

Poe had waited until they reached light speed, then immediately left the cockpit. Finn was tempted to follow, but didn’t. He reached out with his mind, checking in on him, and knew he needed a little while.

“Aren’t you gonna go after him?” Rey asked.

“Not yet.”

Rey eyed him, then nodded. 

“Are you okay?” Finn asked. “You seemed pretty freaked out, after… you know.”

“I’ll be fine,” said Rey. “It was just… so sudden. And there was so much blood. What about you?”

“I’m okay… or I will be,” said Finn. “I dunno, just… so much happened in so little time. We got there and Poe was dead, then he wasn’t, then the corpses, and Hux… then… _that._ It’s a lot to deal with.”

Rey nodded and took his hand. They sat there for a while, just watching the stars speed by.

“Are you sure you shouldn’t go after Poe?” Rey said.

Finn didn't answer right away.

“What if he’s not gonna be okay after this?” he said at last. “The stuff with the mirror and his mother was hard enough, but then… you saw the look on his face. He was paralyzed. What if he’s just… never okay?”

“Well,” said Rey. “There’s only one way to find out.”

Finn nodded. He was still scared of what sort of state he might find Poe in.

“Go on,” Rey urged. “He needs you.”

“Yeah,” said Finn, standing up. “You’re right.”

He squeezed Rey’s hand, then left the cockpit, wandering the Falcon. Finally he found Poe, standing at the washroom sink, running his hands under the water. Though all of Mot’s blood had washed away, the water streaming down his fingers was still tinged red with his own blood, seeping from the gashes on his palm and fingers. 

“Here, let me take care of that,” said Finn.

He turned off the water and grabbed a towel, gently drying off Poe’s injured hand. Then he picked up the med kit from the corner and took out a roll of bandages. Poe was silent as Finn carefully wrapped his hand. He tied off the bandage and looked up at Poe, noticing the flecks of blood spotting his face. He picked up the towel again, ran it under the water, and wrung it out, then gently wiped away the blood.

“Thanks,” said Poe quietly.

Finn smiled at him and set the towel aside. Poe sighed wearily and leaned into him, burying his face in Finn’s shoulder. Finn wrapped his arms around him.

“You okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Poe said, his breath tickling Finn’s neck as he spoke.

“I’m proud of you,” said Finn. “That couldn’t have been easy, seeing your mom…”

“It wasn’t. But she was right. I’ll see her again one day.”

“A day very far from now, I hope.”

“Of course,” said Poe. “If I was dead, I’d miss out on this.”

He wrapped his arms around Finn’s waist, pulling them closer together. Finn smiled and rested his head on Poe’s shoulder. The coppery scent of blood staining his clothes was almost overpowering, but beneath it he still smelled like Poe – the faintly burning smell of space, the rich warmth of the nice shampoo that was about the only luxury Poe allowed himself. Finn sighed, breathing him in, and closed his eyes, pressing a light kiss to the side of Poe’s neck. Poe returned the gesture and Finn could feel him smiling against his skin. 


	18. Scars

The three of them were dead on their feet by the time the Falcon touched down. They had been through too much in too little time, and though they could have slept on the journey home, they were all afraid to. The horrors were still so close – who knew what terror their dreams might bring?

Poe held tight to Finn’s hand as they stepped onto the tarmac. Though being home was a relief, the feeling wasn’t quite so strong as it had been just a few days ago. He was too worn down to feel anything strongly. General Organa and Luke had come out to greet them, but their welcoming smiles faded almost immediately at the sight of Poe covered in blood.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “None of it’s mine. Or at least, I don’t think it is.”

“All the same, you look like you should go to the infirmary,” said General Organa; she didn’t look the least bit comforted by Poe’s assurances. “All three of you do.”

None of them had the energy to argue, and honestly, she was probably right. They let themselves be ushered inside to the infirmary, no one speaking a word. 

“I’ll let you three get patched up,” said General Organa. “Don’t worry about reporting to me right away. Rest first.”

Then she and Luke left. The doctors examined them, cleaning up any minor cuts and scrapes. They re-bandaged Poe’s hand and Finn’s side, then discharged them. None of them spoke as they walked wearily toward the barracks. When they reached Rey’s room, she simply gave each of their hands a squeeze, then slipped silently inside. Poe and Finn continued down the hall until they got to their own room, hesitating only a moment before going in. 

Poe glanced around the room. It was almost exactly as it had been when he was whisked away. Except… Poe’s heart plummeted, then rushed into overdrive as his eyes fell on the little pile of shattered glass in front of the nightstand. The shards caught the dim light, their sharp edges gleaming menacingly. Poe’s grip on Finn’s hand went vice-like and he staggered back through the door, dragging Finn out into the hall with him. 

The door slid shut again and Poe let out a shuddering breath. He let go of Finn’s hand and leaned back against the wall, letting the cool of the stone seep through his thin shirt. He glanced over at Finn, who looked a bit ill and more than a little alarmed, then closed his eyes and slid down the wall, sitting down with his head between his knees. A chill ran up his back and he flexed the fingers of his injured hand, balling them into a fist. 

“Finn? Poe?”

Poe looked up. Jess was standing there, glancing between them with a concerned look on her face. He hadn’t heard her approach. 

“You’re back,” she said.

“Yeah,” said Finn; his voice was hoarse.

“Are you guys okay?” Jess asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Poe laughed shortly, an unnaturally high, hysterical sound that startled even him. Jess stared at him, her expression getting grimmer the longer she looked.

“You’re covered in blood.”

“It’s not mine.”

Why did he feel the need to keep telling people that?

“Who's is it?” Jess paused, her eyes widening. “You didn’t kill anyone, did you?”

“Not technically,” said Poe.

Jess stared at him a moment, then turned to Finn, who looked a bit like he might vomit if he opened his mouth.

“Okay, you’re scaring me,” said Jess. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a broken glass in our room,” said Finn.

Jess blinked. She glanced between the two of them, her expression turning from alarm to pity – she didn’t need to understand, not yet anyway. 

“I’ll take care of it,” she said.

She opened the door and disappeared into their room. Poe rested his forehead on his knees again, taking a few steadying breaths. His heart rate was returning to normal now and he wasn’t shaking nearly as much as he had been a minute ago. He raised his head and glanced at Finn again. He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, eyes fixed on the ceiling as though it might come down and he needed to keep a watch on it. 

Less than a minute passed before Jess came back out into the hall.

“Alright, the coast is clear,” she announced.

“Thanks,” Poe said quietly.

“It’s no trouble.”

Poe got to his feet.

“No seriously. I mean it,” he said. “Thank you.”

Jess gave him a sad smile.

“I don’t know what happened to you guys out there,” she said. “But… it must have been pretty fucked up. Worse than the first time, even.”

“You have no idea,” said Finn.

“Please, for your own sakes… get some help,” said Jess. “Just… talk to someone.”

“Can I at least clean up and take a nap first?” Poe said.

“No, I’m gonna make you talk to a therapist covered in blood,” Jess teased.

Poe smirked wearily.

“Right. Good. I’m gonna go fall asleep in the shower.”

He turned to leave.

“Hey, guys,” Jess said.

Poe turned back around. 

“Welcome home.”

Poe smiled.

“Thanks,” said Finn.

 

The door had barely closed behind them before Poe was shedding his clothes. They were filthy, stiff with sweat and dried blood. Finn followed suit, a bit slower, wincing as he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it over the back of a chair.

“Mind if I join you in the shower?” he asked. “I don’t think I can stay awake much longer.”

“Yeah, of course,” said Poe.

They went into the washroom. Poe turned on the water, vaguely aware of Finn staring at him. Once the water was hot, they both got in and just stood there, bodies close, letting the water wash over them. After a minute, Poe grabbed the shampoo and started washing his hair. Finn didn’t move. He just stood there, water streaming down his body, staring at Poe. He reached out and placed a hand on Poe’s chest, fingers tracing idly over the three pale scars there. Then suddenly, he started to cry. Poe’s eyes widened and he set down the bar of soap he’d just picked up, cradling Finn’s face in his hands.

“Finn, what’s wrong?” he said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine it’s just… you’re home,” said Finn.

He melted into Poe, his forehead resting on Poe’s wet and still bloody chest. Poe wrapped his arms around Finn and pulled him closer.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he said soothingly. 

“I almost lost you again,” Finn said. “I’ve almost lost you too many times.”

His hand slid up Poe’s chest to his shoulder to cover the scar there from being bit by the corpse.

“Too many scars…” he whispered. 

Poe kissed Finn’s temple. Of course – every scar on Poe’s body would forever remind Finn of another time he’d nearly lost him. And he’d managed to accumulate quite a few new ones since they first crashed on that planet, what felt like a lifetime ago.

“You ain’t losing me anytime soon,” Poe said. “I made a promise, remember? I chose life. I chose you. And I fully intend to become grumpy old men together.”

Finn laughed a little and looked up at him. Water and tears mingled together on his face, giving his skin an almost ethereal sheen. They smiled at each other, then Finn leaned in and kissed Poe so tenderly that Poe started crying too.


	19. One Year Later

It had been a rough year for the Resistance. Since their return, Poe, Finn, and Rey had slowly managed to recover – both physically and mentally – but even after so many months, they had a ways to go yet. As soon as they were able, all three of them had thrown themselves into their responsibilities. Finn began Jedi training alongside Rey and had come quite far in such a short time. Poe, meanwhile, had returned to his duties as commander of the fleet, leading missions and flying into battle, just as he always had.

The struggle with the First Order had morphed into a nightmare. The New Republic senate had officially condemned the First Order’s actions and declared them a hostile organization, but they refused to sanction an actual war, preferring to quell attacks with localized forces, little more than glorified police. They had requested that the Resistance stand down and leave this to the Republic forces, but General Organa had stood her ground, insisting that stopping the First Order would require military force. In the end, the senate had voted to cut all ties with the Resistance, declaring them radical war-mongers. 

In the seven months that followed since the vote, frustrations ran high and funds ran low. People were suffering from curable wounds and illnesses because they couldn’t afford medical supplies. Poe’s squadron had flown into three separate battles on half-tanks because fuel was so scarce. It was only a matter of time before their food began to run out too. 

 

Poe walked down the hall toward General Organa’s office. He had been summoned, presumably for a mission, but the general had given him no indication of what that mission might be. Usually she gave him some idea, so whatever this was had to be top secret. He reached the door and knocked. There was a brief pause, then the door slid open and he was beckoned inside. General Organa sat behind her desk, but she wasn’t alone. Sitting across from her was a middle-aged man in senatorial robes. He didn’t stand when Poe entered, merely casting a proud and regal glance in his direction. The way he held himself, he seemed to think he was a king, not a politician.

“You called for me, general?” Poe said.

“Yes, Poe, sit down,” said General Organa. Poe sat. “This is Senator Ziad of Berchest. He says he has a deal to propose.”

“All due respect, but shouldn’t someone a little… higher in command… be here instead of me?” Poe asked.

“He requested you specifically,” said the general. “He says there’s something you have that he needs.”

Poe frowned and turned to the senator. 

“I’m sorry, sir, but… I haven’t really got anything of value. Whatever you need, I’m not your man.”

“What I need from you is not physical or intrinsic, Commander Dameron,” Senator Ziad said. “I have heard rumors. It’s hard to believe a zealot like yourself would associate with a First Order general, but General Organa tells me that what I’ve heard is correct. Somehow, you have gained the trust of Armitage Hux.”

Poe didn’t respond right away. He hadn’t heard that name in a long time. He never talked about Hux, and Finn and Rey had taken the hint and never brought him up. 

“It’s been a while,” Poe said stiffly. “He’s probably gone back to hating my guts by now.”

“Nevertheless, whatever created that trust between you is still there,” said the senator. “It can be rekindled.”

“What are you asking of me, senator?” said Poe.

“I need information.”

“On Hux?”

“And the First Order,” said Senator Ziad. “I need you to meet with him. Use the rapport you have with him to persuade him to give you intel. Then bring that information back to me. In return, I will offer a great deal of financial assistance to the Resistance.”

“Look, sir, our rapport ain’t _that_ good,” said Poe. “You think _I’m_ a zealot, you should see Hux. He’d never give me the intel you want.”

“I know what kind of man he is,” said the senator darkly. 

“So what’s the catch?” Poe asked. “There always is one. If I can’t get the intel from Hux…?”

“Then you must assassinate him.”

Poe stared.

“Excuse me?”

“Those are my terms,” said Ziad. “Information or, failing that, General Hux’s death, in exchange for my financial support. Do you accept?”

Poe hesitated. He knew he wouldn’t be able to convince Hux to give him any information, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to pull the trigger on him either. But the Resistance needed funds, and soon. They had reached the point that could officially be labelled desperate. Poe turned to General Organa. Her expression was unreadable. This was up to him and whether _he_ felt he could do this. He turned back to Senator Ziad.

“I’ll do it,” he said.

Ziad smiled haughtily and stood up.

“Very good,” he said. “I’ll leave you to prepare the mission.”

“C3-P0 should be waiting outside, he’ll show you to the guest quarters,” said General Organa.

“Thank you, general.”

As the door slid shut behind the senator, General Organa turned to Poe.

“Are you sure about this? You _can_ back out,” she said.

“All due respect, ma’am,” said Poe. “But we need all the help we can get right now. I’m not gonna let the Resistance fail because of my personal problems.”

 

 

***

 

“Any idea what this is about?” Finn said.

He and Rey were on their way to General Organa’s office. 

“None at all,” said Rey. “I heard some senator showed up this morning, but I don’t know what that’s got to do with us.”

“Yeah… and Poe got summoned earlier. Haven’t seen him since.”

He knocked on the general’s door and they were summoned inside.

“Finn, Rey, thank you for coming,” General Organa said, offering them the two empty seats across from her. “I have a mission for you.”

Finn and Rey exchanged a look and sat down. The general continued.

“The senator from Berchest arrived today with an offer of assistance. In return, he has employed Poe to meet with General Hux of the First Order. His mission is to either get information, or assassinate him. I want you two to accompany Poe on this mission.”

“To keep him from getting murdered?” Rey said.

“To keep him from doing anything stupid,” said General Organa.

Finn smirked.

“I’m his boyfriend, general, that’s my job,” he said.

“Then how does he keep managing to get himself into trouble?”

“I never said I was very good at it.”

General Organa chuckled, then turned somber again.

“I trust you two to keep him safe,” she said. “This mission won’t be easy for him, no matter how tough he tries to appear. If he can’t do it, make sure he knows it’s not his fault.”

“We will,” said Finn.

“Good,” said the general. “Now go get ready.”


	20. Look 'Em In The Eye, Aim No Higher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry for the delayed update, life got in the way.
> 
> also yes, the chapter title is very much a hamilton reference.

The preparations had all been made. They had contacted Hux and agreed on a meet up spot in a cantina on a far-flung Outer Rim planet. Poe was surprised at how easily Hux had agreed to the meeting. He had expected some sort of hesitation or suspicion, but there had been none, or at least not that he’d picked up on.

They packed up and crowded into the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, then were on their way. When they arrived on the planet, they parked the ship in the public hangar and headed straight for the cantina. They had agreed on no weapons, but Poe had a blaster tucked into the back of his pants, hidden by his jacket, and it seemed to weigh a ton. 

They stepped inside and paused, taking in their surroundings. Poe’s gaze was drawn immediately to the bar, where a red-haired man wearing all black sat with his back to the door.

“He’s here,” Poe said quietly.

Finn took his hand and squeezed it.

“Good luck,” he said.

Then he and Rey drifted off to a nearby table.

Poe took a deep breath and approached the bar. He ordered a beer, then slid onto the stool next to Hux.

“Hey,” he said. “Long time no see.”

Hux turned to him. It was strange seeing him again after so long. He hadn’t changed a bit, and yet he looked different than Poe remembered. The crease between his eyebrows from his perpetual frown seemed deeper, and Poe realized he had never noticed the pale scars splintering out from under his eyepatch, a physical reminder of the second tally in their expansive list of debts.

“I was surprised to get your message,” said Hux. “What’s this about? You can’t possibly be delusional enough to think we’re the kind of acquaintances to just get together for drinks.”

“You’re right, this isn’t just a social visit,” said Poe. “Though I kinda almost wish it was.”

Hux raised an eyebrow.

“Should I be concerned?”

“No,” Poe lied.

“You’re not defecting, are you?”

Poe laughed and took a sip of his drink.

“Hell no. Are you kidding me?”

“Well, you’re acting rather shifty, I thought I should check,” said Hux. “What _is_ this about then?”

“I need… information,” Poe said. “On the First Order.”

This time it was Hux who laughed.

“Really? You think I’m just going to _hand_ you information, when I know full well you’re going to bring it back to the Resistance and use it against me?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

“Whose brilliantly stupid idea was this? Because I know you didn't come up with it yourself.”

“Someone who _really_ doesn’t understand our relationship,” said Poe.

“Clearly.”

Silence fell as they both took a drink. Poe looked over at Hux, the weight of the blaster against his back burning hot like a branding iron.

“There’s something else,” he said suddenly.

Hux turned to look at him. Poe exhaled shakily, knowing he was condemning himself and the Resistance if he spoke. But if he followed through with this, he would be damned.

“I made a deal,” Poe said. “With someone outside the Resistance. Someone who promised to help us if I did what he asked. I couldn’t turn him down, we needed him too badly. He knew somehow about you and me, that we… that you trust me, in some respect. He wanted me to get information from you.”

“I’m not going to compensate you for the assistance you just lost, if that’s what you’re getting at,” said Hux.

“I wasn’t going to ask you to. I… I have a confession to make.”

Hux raised an eyebrow.

“If I couldn’t get the information from you,” said Poe. “Then… my orders were to kill you.”

Hux stared at him for a moment.

“So,” he said quietly. “They’ve made an assassin out of you. That’s a pity. You’re not that sort of man, Dameron.”

“I know,” said Poe. “That’s why I told you. I can’t do it, Hux.”

“You’d defy your orders… for me?”

“You died for me. That’s not something I can easily forget.”

“You’ll lose your funding,” said Hux. “Maybe your command.”

Poe sighed heavily.

“I know… the really desperate part of me still wants to do _something_ , but… I can’t just murder you in cold blood. That’s not in me.”

There was a brief silence.

“Perhaps,” said Hux suddenly. “There’s a way we can compromise.”

Poe raised his eyebrows curiously.

“Oh yeah?”

“I propose a duel.”

“A duel?” Poe repeated. “Like… we each walk ten paces then shoot and hope we don’t die?”

“Yes, exactly like that,” said Hux. “It evens the playing field a bit. And if I don’t die, at least you can say you tried. You won’t have _completely_ defied your orders. Just… bent them a little.”

Poe grinned.

“You know, for someone who’s such a stickler for rules, you sure are good at breaking them.”

“It’s strategy, Dameron. Just playing the game. So, what do you say?”

“Let’s do this.”

 


	21. Summon All The Courage You Require

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "ten duel commandments" from hamilton. 
> 
> sorry for the long delay between updates again, life got in the way

“You _what_?!?” Finn exclaimed.

They had returned to the Millennium Falcon, where Poe told the others of his agreement with Hux.

“I know, I know,” said Poe. “But I couldn’t just kill him, Finn.”

“We came with you to _stop_ you from doing something stupid!” said Finn. “And you’ve gone and done something stupid anyway.”

“In your defense, you were on the other side of the room and had no idea what was happening,” said Poe. “Also, it was Hux’s idea.”

“I don’t care if the queen of Naboo came up with it, this is the worst idea in the history of bad ideas. You’re gonna get yourself shot!”

“What if you just… didn’t show up?” Rey suggested.

“I can’t do that,” said Poe.

“This isn’t about honor or something, is it?” said Rey. “Because that’s just ridiculous.”

“It’s not about _honor_ , I just… I can’t, okay? I can’t run away. If I don’t make it seem like I at least _tried_ , then the senator is gonna pull his support. The Resistance will be dead in months.”

Finn and Rey both stared at him.

“It’s not really that bad, is it?” said Rey.

“You’ve seen how tight rationing’s been,” Poe said. “The general’s been keeping it on the down low to keep hopes alive, but… we’re just one bad day away from being finished. I’m not gonna be the reason for that bad day.”

Finn sighed heavily and sat down next to Poe, taking his hand.

“You’re still gonna have to shoot him, Poe,” he said. “That’s the whole point of a duel.”

“I know.”

“Are you sure you can do it?”

“I have to,” said Poe. “This just… makes it fair.”

“You don’t _have_ to do anything,” said Finn gently. “You don’t have to carry the fate of the Resistance on your back.”

“But I do. I’m already carrying it. I can’t quit now. I have to do this, Finn.”

Finn sighed again and kissed Poe’s hand.

“Then we’ll be right there with you.”

 

 

***

 

“I’m not going to lie, Hux, this sounds like the sort of rash decision I would make,” said Ren.

He was taking this all surprisingly well and it was more than a little unnerving. Hux would rather he blew up as usual; he could deal with shouting, but this fragile and disapproving calm was simply uncomfortable.

“When has anything I’ve done regarding Poe Dameron ever been rational, Ren?” said Hux. “He was sent here to kill me. What was I supposed to do?”

“Not give him another opportunity to kill you, perhaps?” said Ren; his voice was a little strained now.

“He’s not going to take the shot. I know he won’t,” Hux said. “He couldn’t kill me today, he told me his orders. It’s been a year. One more day isn’t going to make him hate me any more.”

“But he’s desperate, Hux. He told you the Resistance needed help, and if he doesn’t kill you, they won’t get it. You know what desperation can make a man do.”

“He may be desperate, but he’s also got the most overactive moral compass of anyone I’ve ever met. I was completely at his mercy today, unarmed, a perfect target. He has too much honor to be an assassin. Yes, I gave him another shot at killing me, one that would allow him to kill me with that honor intact. But I don’t believe he’s capable of pulling the trigger.”

“How can you be so certain?” said Ren, standing up. At last, he was getting angry. “He is our enemy. Everything that happened was a year ago, surely it’s behind him.”

“Are all those horrors behind you, Ren?” Hux said. “Because I know they’re not behind me. Nor him, either. He needn’t have told me, I could tell just from the look in his eyes when he saw me. I sacrificed my life for him, and he’s still haunted by that debt. If he killed me tomorrow, it would eat him alive.”

“And what about you?” Ren asked. “Can you kill him?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

 

 

***

 

Finn lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Poe was pressed up against his side, warm and fast asleep. But Finn couldn’t sleep. Not tonight. Not when the man next to him could be dead before the sun was in the sky.

Obviously the things that had happened would never be behind them, but Finn had hoped that this at least would pass. He’d hoped that when they parted ways for the last time, Poe and Hux would be able to let go of their debts and move on. But no such luck. Now they had trapped themselves into a duel, and Finn had a nasty feeling that Poe was the only one who’d have a hard time pulling the trigger. 

With a heavy sigh, Finn rolled onto his side and pressed his cheek against Poe’s shoulder blade, draping his arm over Poe’s abdomen and pulling himself close. Poe let out a contented sigh in his sleep. Finn kissed his shoulder and closed his eyes, praying to anyone who might be listening not to take Poe away from him. Not again.

 


	22. Then, Count...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear this is the last hamilton reference chapter title
> 
> also sorry for the long gap between updates again.

The sky was the pale grey of dawn as they left the hangar and headed to the meeting place. Poe and Hux had agreed on a spot outside town, hidden by a copse of trees so none of the locals would find them and try to interfere. Poe led the way, staying a little ways ahead so Finn and Rey wouldn’t notice just how scared he actually was. He still didn’t know if he’d be able to shoot Hux, but he did know that if he didn’t, the Resistance was screwed, and he would most likely be dead.

As they left the town behind them, Finn caught up and interlaced his fingers with Poe’s, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Poe looked at him and attempted a smile. 

“I love you more than anything, you know that right?” he said quietly.

“Yes, I do,” said Finn. “We’re gonna be okay. _You’re_ gonna be okay.”

Poe nodded, but it felt like a lie. At last they reached their meeting place. Hux was already there, accompanied by Kylo Ren. For a moment, they all just stared at each other. Then Hux removed his gloves and handed them to Ren.

“Let’s get this over with,” he said. 

Poe gave Finn a fleeting kiss and let go of his hand, then drew his blaster. Across the clearing, Hux drew his blaster as well. Then they both walked forward until they met in the middle.

“You sure about this?” Poe said. “You know my orders.”

“I’m sure,” said Hux.

Poe nodded.

“Okay. Let’s do this.”

They looked each other in the eye, then both turned on their heel and began to march away, counting their paces.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

_Ten_.


	23. The Lesser of Two Evils

Hux inhaled and turned around, the tails of his coat catching in the breeze. How did he end up here? When did he become such a soft fool? He should have just left when Dameron told him he’d been sent to kill him. Or better yet, stolen his blaster and shot him right there. Gotten it all over with. But he couldn’t just kill the man he’d once died to save. Not like that. It had to be fair. They both had to have a chance.

So here they were, twenty paces apart, at the mercy of the chance he had granted them. Hux could let Dameron live and they could both walk away from here and things could go back to how there were, how they had been for a year. But would Dameron return the favor? Or would he shoot?

Ren was right, Dameron was desperate, and a desperate man is capable of anything, no matter how righteous he is.Surely he wouldn’t back down. And yet he had refused to assassinate Hux in the cantina. Though perhaps that just made him weak.

Hux stared across the field at Dameron. The expression on his face was pained and conflicted, but there was no indication of what he would do. Still, they were enemies, with a year of separation from all the horrors that had thrown them together and created this mess. And Dameron was desperate. Hux knew what he would do if their situations were reversed. He must act accordingly. His time was up.

He let out the breath and pulled the trigger.

 

 

***

 

 

Poe breathed in deeply, his grip tight on his blaster, as he turned around. Hux stood across the field, several feet away, his long black coat billowing slightly in the breeze. His blaster was raised, his one good eye trained on Poe with the focus of an expert marksman. Poe let his finger begin to curl toward the trigger of his own blaster.

But could he do it? Could he actually kill the man before him, the man who had sacrificed his own life to save him, despite hating him and everything he stood for? 

He only had a second to decide. 

This was how he worked best. In the heat of the moment, impulse decisions, running on instinct. But with Hux, his instincts failed him. His duty, his belief in the Resistance told him to fire, and their history, his debts held him back. He knew what he had to do, what was expected of him. And yet…

Poe exhaled and slowly aimed his blaster for the sky.


	24. Consequences

Poe saw the blast coming. But something in Hux’s resolved expression faltered as Poe raised his blaster. It was almost panic. Almost regret. And in that fraction of a second, his hand twitched, sending the blast off course. It flashed past Poe and grazed his side below his upraised arm. He gasped in pain and clutched the wound, letting his gun arm fall back to his side. 

“Poe!”

Suddenly, Finn was beside him, worry painted across his face.

“Poe, are you okay?” he asked frantically.

Poe just nodded and looked back up at Hux. For a moment, they just stared across the clearing at each other. Then suddenly, two dozen soldiers poured out of the trees, surrounding them.

“What the hell?” Poe muttered.

“This was a trap!” Hux spat. “You were too cowardly to kill me yourself, so you called your soldiers to do it for you.”

“What? No!” said Poe. “I don’t know what’s going on, these aren’t our soldiers.”

“Quite right,” said a haughty voice. “They’re mine.”

Poe turned. Out from between the soldiers emerged the regal figure of Senator Ziad. He looked down his nose at Poe, his expression simultaneously displeased and smug.

“I knew you couldn’t do it, Dameron,” Ziad said. “Your hesitation made that clear from the moment you accepted my offer.”

“So what, you tailed me?” Poe said.

“Astute observation, commander. Now –“ Ziad turned to his soldiers. “Kill General Hux.”

The soldiers closest to Hux raised their blasters. Ren ignited his lightsaber and stepped toward them, but Poe had already rushed forward, placing himself between the soldiers and Hux.

“Poe, wait!” Finn said.

“Dameron, don’t be a fool,” Hux hissed. 

“Bit late for that,” said Poe.

“Step aside, Dameron,” said Ziad. 

“Why do you want him dead so badly?” Poe demanded.

“You know what kind of man he is.”

“Yeah, I do. He’s done some awful shit. But why are _you_ so determined to have him killed? Why would you bribe me to assassinate him and drag your soldiers out here in case I failed?”

Ziad’s expression turned to pure venom, his upper lip twitching into a disgusted sneer.

“Starkiller,” he said. “When his machine destroyed the Hosnian system, he killed everyone I ever loved. My entire family was on Hosnian Prime that day. I was off planet. We came out of light speed to discover nothing but rock.”

Poe swallowed hard, his heart sinking.

“I’m sorry, senator. I really am.”

“And yet you would defend this man, a murderer, a destroyer of worlds.”

“I owe him a debt,” said Poe. 

“Is your _debt_ really greater than justice for millions of lost lives?” Ziad snarled. “Families. Children. All dead because of this man. And you would prevent me from bringing him to justice.”

Poe glanced over at Finn and Rey, who were watching, tense, ready to fight if need be. This wasn’t going to end well, but they didn’t need to be dragged into it. This was his mess. He looked over his shoulder at Hux.

“Go,” he said quietly. “Take Ren and go. Get out of here. Run as fast as you can and get back to your people.”

Hux looked taken aback.

“What about you?” he said.

“I’ll accept the consequences of my actions,” Poe said. “Whatever they may be.”

Hux hesitated a moment, then nodded.

“Run,” said Poe.

Hux obeyed. He turned on his heel and took off, grabbing Ren by the arm as he went. 

“After them!” Ziad shouted.

Six of his soldiers started after Hux and Ren, but Poe quickly switched his blaster to stun and knocked them one by one to the ground. The rest of the soldiers surrounded him and wrenched his blaster from his hands.

“Poe Dameron, you are under arrest for obstruction of justice, collusion with a First Order officer, and assault of New Republic troops,” Ziad said.

“You don’t have the authority to arrest me,” said Poe, struggling as one of the soldiers put him in binders.

“Tell that to the Senate.”

Poe looked over at Finn and Rey again. Both of them had started forward to help him, but he shook his head and they stopped in their tracks. He really couldn’t drag them into this now. Right now it was just him, one fool who defied his orders and paid the price. The more people involved, the easier it would be for Ziad to condemn the entire Resistance. And, as much as Poe hated the idea of going to prison, it would be so much easier to accept if he wouldn’t have to live with the fact that he’d landed Finn and Rey there too.

Ziad motioned to his soldiers and they began to lead him away. As they passed the spot where Finn and Rey stood, Finn stepped forward desperately.

“We’ll come for you,” he said. “We’ll save you, I promise.”

“You can’t,” said Poe. “Tell the general I’m sorry, okay?”

Then he was whisked away.


	25. The Chase

Hux stopped so suddenly that Ren nearly ran into him from behind.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ren demanded. “We’re nearly to the ship!”

“We have to go back,” said Hux.

“Excuse me?”

“That man wants me dead and Dameron just let me escape,” said Hux. “He’s in danger.”

“He’s a spineless politician, how much danger could Dameron actually be in?” said Ren skeptically.

“You and I know perfectly well the lengths one might go to for revenge.”

Ren frowned. He didn’t like the idea of putting their necks on the line for the Resistance pilot, but he had never been very good at denying Hux.

“Fine. We’ll try to help him,” he said reluctantly.

“Thank you.”

 

 

***

 

 

“One of these days, your boyfriend is gonna stop needing us to save his ass,” said Rey.

“Yeah, that’ll be the day,” Finn said.

They were sneaking along behind Ziad’s troupe, keeping a close eye on Poe as they went. Poe may have told them not to save him, but Finn couldn’t just let them take him. If Poe went to court for the accusations Ziad had arrested him for, he would most certainly be convicted of treason. And no matter which planet’s government he was tried under, the sentence for that would be severe.

Suddenly, two people burst into their path and collided with them. Finn and Rey both raised their blasters, then relaxed. It was Hux and Ren.

“What are you doing here?” Finn said. “You’re supposed to be escaping.”

“I couldn’t let Dameron get punished because of me,” said Hux.

“When the hell did you get so noble?”

“First of all, never call me noble again,” Hux said. “And second, aren’t we supposed to be rescuing your boyfriend?”

He turned and made to continue on, but Finn and Rey both grabbed him by the arm.

“We can’t just burst in there, guns blazing,” Rey said.

“Maybe you can’t,” said Hux. “But Ren and I don’t have to stay on the Senate’s good side. Leave it to us.”

Finn and Rey exchanged a nervous look.

“Are you sure?” Finn asked.

“Yes,” Hux said earnestly. “I’ll bring him back, I promise.”

Finn swallowed hard and nodded.

“We’ll be right behind you if things go south.”

 

 

***

 

 

Hux tightened his grip on his blaster, which was set to stun. They had followed Ziad and his guards down to a clearing where they had hidden their shuttle and were preparing to board. This was the moment – if they were going to get Dameron out, they had to move now.

“You still have our backs?” Hux said.

“Of course,” Finn replied.

“Good.”

Hux turned to Ren, who nodded. Then they ran out into the clearing. Hux stunned two of the guards before they turned on them.

“Kill him!” Ziad ordered.

The guards immediately opened fire, but Ren raised his hand and shielded Hux from the blasts. Hux stunned the guard holding Dameron and ran to him.

“Hux, what the fuck are you doing?” Dameron said. “You’re gonna get killed!”

“And you’re going to get convicted of treason,” Hux shot back. “Come on.”

“Yeah, _you_ rescuing me is really not gonna help that case, buddy.”

“Oh, shut up and come with me.”

Hux grabbed his arm and started to lead him toward the place Finn and Rey were hiding. Then suddenly there was a searing pain in his left thigh and he dropped his blaster, falling to his knees. He felt the wound and looked down at his hand, which came away bloody. Gritting his teeth, he turned to Dameron just as two more of the senator’s guards came up and began to drag him away toward the ship.

“No!”

Hux went to get up and found himself staring down the muzzle of a blaster. Before the soldier could pull the trigger, Ren ran forward and brought his lightsaber down on the man’s arm. He screamed in pain as his severed hand fell to the ground and, with a great deal of effort, ran off and boarded the ship just as the ramp began to close…. with Poe Dameron on board.

 

 

***

 

 

“NO!”

“Finn, wait!”

But Finn had already burst into the clearing, tearing across the field with all the speed he could. He ran past the stunned soldiers, past Hux and Ren, his eyes fixed on the slowly closing ramp. He could just see Poe inside, struggling against the guards holding him. The engines were already running and they were disengaging the landing gears, even as the ramp still rose. 

“Poe!” Finn shouted.

Over the sounds of the engine and the wind rushing past his ears, he could just hear Poe shout his name in return. But then the ramp shut with a horribly final click and the ship began to lift into the air. 

“POE!”

Finn finally came a halt, right where the ship had been a moment before, and stared up at the quickly shrinking shuttle. A few seconds later, Rey caught up to him, panting.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, taking his hand.

Finn tore his eyes away from the patch of sky Poe had been whisked away into. His heart was pounding and his lungs screaming, but none of it was as painful as knowing he’d just lost Poe again. He turned just as the others came over, Hux limping and leaned against Ren.

“I’m sorry,” Hux said. “I failed.”

Finn shook his head.

“You tried to help. I won’t forget that.”

“Maybe there’s still a way we can –“

“No,” Finn cut him off. “You’ve done enough. I appreciate you trying to rescue him, but… the more you try to help, the more it’ll hurt his case. You’re the reason they arrested him, Hux.”

“If they really think Poe Dameron is conspiring with the First Order through me, then they are completely delusional,” said Hux. 

“They don’t know Poe like we do.”

“No, I suppose they don’t.” 

“I’m sure it’s safe to assume you’re going to find another way to free him,” Ren said.

“You bet your ass,” said Finn. “I’m not gonna abandon him.”

“Then, good luck,” said Hux.

“You’ll need it,” Ren added.

“Thank you,” said Rey. “Seriously, thanks for trying to help.”

Hux sighed.

“I’ve learned to accept that Dameron and I are never going to finish paying off our debts,” he said. “And… tell him I’m sorry, will you? For this, and… for everything really.”

Finn nodded.

“I will.”


	26. Behind Bars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow so time sorta got away from me, sorry for taking so long to update.   
> also since the last jedi is now out, i feel i should note that since i started this fic long before tlj was part of the canon and have written most of it, things are gonna continue on the timeline they're on and just ignore tlj. (that being said i fucking loved the movie, so it's nothing personal. just how the fic is written lol)

Poe was shoved roughly into a seat. Two guards sat down on either side of him, their hands on their weapons. He glanced at them, then down at his hands. Now that everything had settled down, the blast wound on his side began to throb. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Yeah, he’d defied his orders, but he’d just been trying to do the right thing. He couldn’t bring himself to summarily execute Hux. He sighed heavily. As long as he was the only one who would pay for his actions, he could make peace with it. Finn and Rey were free, the Resistance could go on without him. He just hoped – rather futilely, he realized – that Finn wouldn’t make any attempt to rescue him.

He sat in silence for the entire flight, not daring to make a snappy remark, in case Ziad found a way to twist it against him. If he did this right, he might be able to get off. At last they landed and the guards dragged Poe to his feet. He winced and let himself be led off the ship, glancing around at his surroundings. He had never been to Berchest, but he had no doubt that was where he had been taken. Which meant that Ziad would have far too much power over the trial. Poe’s hopes deflated just a little bit more.

Ziad led the way to a formidable, gated building with very few windows. He punched in a code at the gate, which swung open, then they continued across the courtyard toward the front door.

“I have already told the warden to prepare for your arrival,” Ziad said. 

They entered the building and were met by a large man with a ring of keys hooked to his belt that jangled loudly as he came forward to greet them.

“Senator, I wasn’t expecting you to escort him yourself,” the man said.

“He’s a traitor, I wanted to ensure his delivery.”

“Of course. You can leave him with me, I’ll take it from here.”

“Thank you, warden. Your services are much appreciated.”

The guards pushed Poe forward. The warden took his arm and led him through a locked door. Poe glanced over his shoulder at the senator, then the door slammed shut. 

“So,” the warden said, steering Poe down a corridor. “A traitor, eh?”

“He’s got it wrong,” Poe said. “I’m not a traitor.”

“We’ll see about that.”

They took a sharp left and continued down another corridor. But this one was lined with cells. Several of the prisoners came to the bars to watch him pass, a few of them jeering and catcalling. Poe pointedly avoided looking at them, making no effort to hide his distaste. At last they stopped at the very last cell. The warden unlocked it and ushered Poe inside, removing his binders before slamming the door shut and locking it again. He hooked his keys back onto his belt, then walked away. 

Poe peered through the bars until he was gone, then let out a heavy sigh and looked around. The cell was tiny. There was a rickety cot in the corner but nothing else. Poe went over to the cot and sat down, wincing in pain. He lifted his shirt to inspect the wound. It wasn’t bad, the blast had just grazed him and it had already stopped bleeding, but it still stung and the dried blood cracked every time he moved. He lowered his shirt and glanced to the door, then froze. The man in the cell across from him was leaning against the bars, watching him.

“You’re hurt,” he said.

“Yeah,” said Poe. “It’s no big deal, I’ll be fine.”

“Not in here, you won’t,” the man said. “It’s gonna get infected and nobody’s gonna bother to help you with it. Infections can kill, ya know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Poe grumbled. “But I’m not gonna be in here long enough for that to happen.”

“Oh really? And why’s that?”

“Because I’m not guilty.”

The man laughed.

“That’s what they all say.”

“But I’m _not_ ,” Poe insisted. 

The man narrowed his eyes, considering him.

“What’re you accused of?” he asked.

“Treason.”

The man let out a low whistle.

“You’re not gonna get off, man.”

Poe got up and went to the bars, frowning.

“What makes you think that?” 

“No one Senator Ziad arrests for treason ever gets off,” the man said.

“Even if they’re innocent?”

“Who the hell knows if any of them actually are.”

“You mean they don’t get a trial?” Poe said incredulously.

The man shook his head.

“One things’ for sure though, you were right. You won’t be here long enough for that wound to get infected.”

“Why’s that?” Poe asked.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

“Because more likely than not, you’ll be hanged before the week’s out.”


	27. Best Laid Plans

The Millennium Falcon touched down and Finn and Rey disembarked. General Organa stood on the tarmac waiting for them, but when she saw that Poe wasn’t with them, her expression darkened.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Poe’s been arrested,” Rey said. “Senator Ziad tailed us.”

“Arrested?” Leia exclaimed. “On what charges?”

“Treason.”

The general turned away, though she wasn’t able to hide the look of barely contained fury that flashed across her face. After a moment, she turned back to face them, her expression once again composed.

“What the _hell_ gave Ziad the idea that Poe is a traitor?” she said.

“He… couldn’t do it,” Finn said. “He couldn’t kill Hux.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” General Organa said. “But seriously, _treason_?”

Finn hesitated, cringing a little as he began to explain.

“Poe sort of… told Hux about his assignment. And they, um… agreed to a duel to… make it fair.”

“A duel?!” General Organa said. “For the record, Finn, that is what ‘something stupid’ looks like.”

“I know,” said Finn. “I’m sorry, general.”

The general sighed.

“It’s not your fault,” she said. “I just don’t understand how Ziad managed to twist this around into a treason charge.”

“Ziad crashed the duel,” Rey explained. “Poe defended Hux, he helped him get away. So Ziad had him arrested. His family was in the Hosnian system when it was destroyed, he _really_ wants Hux dead, and Poe got in the way.”

“Well, in that case, I suggest you two go get cleaned up and rested,” General Organa said. “We have a mission to prepare for. We meet in the council room in one hour.”

 

***

 

An hour later, Finn and Rey entered the council room. Gathered around the table were General Organa, Luke, Jessika Pava, and Snap Wexley. Finn and Rey sat down and Leia got to her feet, addressing them all.

“As you all know, Poe has been wrongfully arrested by Senator Ziad of Berchest. I’ve done some research on the justice system on that planet and… things are looking rather grim. The charge against Poe is treason, which would demand a heavy sentence in any star system, but on Berchest… the punishment is death.”

Finn swallowed hard, feeling suddenly queasy.

“But he’ll be okay,” said Jess. “Once he’s given a testimony, they’ll see he’s innocent.”

“They don’t provide trials for traitors on Berchest,” the general said grimly.

Finn’s heart sank. 

“They’re just gonna execute him?” Rey said incredulously. “Just like that?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“That’s fucked up,” said Snap.

“We have to save him,” Finn said quietly, his voice cracking. 

“We will, Finn,” said Luke.

“I’ve chosen the five of you specifically for this mission,” General Organa said. “And I’ll be leading it.”

“So how are we gonna do this?” Jess asked.

“We’ll be split into two teams with two separate functions. The diplomatic team will confront Ziad and attempt to get Poe off, or at least get him a fair trial. The second team will be… backup. If we can’t convince Ziad to be reasonable, we’ll have to break him out the good old fashion way.”

Luke smirked at that.

“Luke, Finn, and I will be in team one,” Leia continued. “We’ll arrive first and go straight to the senator’s office. Rey, Pava, Wexley, you’ll be team two. Once we’ve landed, we’ll make contact and you can come in. Park your ship in the public hangar, act natural. Then go to the prison and survey the area. Find any security weaknesses, anything we would need to know to break in and, more importantly, get back out. Hopefully we won’t need to resort to that, but Ziad is a man with a grudge, and Poe stopped him from getting revenge. It won’t be so easy to reason with him.”

“If we have to break him out, won’t Poe be considered a criminal?” Rey said.

“It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had a wanted man in the rebellion,” said Luke. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Luke’s right. We can worry about the consequences later,” said Leia. “For now, we need to focus on making sure Poe makes it off Berchest alive. We’ll leave tomorrow morning, oh-six-hundred hours. Dismissed.”

Everyone got up and began to leave, but Finn hung back, waiting until the room was clear except for him and the general. 

“Finn,” she said. “How are you holding up?”

Finn shrugged.

“I’ll be better once we get Poe home.” He paused a moment. “Thank you for assigning me to the diplomatic team. I… I don’t think I could just hang back… I want to be there for the whole thing, no matter which way it goes.”

Leia smiled softly.

“I know. That’s why I gave you this assignment. I know you’ll do anything to make sure he’s safe. But if it does come to plan B, I want you to join the others. They’ll need all the help they can get.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Finn. 

“Now go get some rest. You’ll need it.”

“Thank you, general.”

Finn left and went to his barracks. As the door slid shut behind him, he just stood there, looking around. The room felt so empty without Poe in it. He’d spent plenty of nights in here alone when Poe was on missions, but this time felt different. This time… Poe was supposed to be here, but he wasn’t, and it just felt wrong.

With a heavy sigh, Finn kicked off his boots and shed his jacket. He went over to the bed and flopped down, staring at the ceiling. He hoped this plan would work. He _needed_ it to work. General Organa was right – he would do anything to make sure Poe was safe. He’d take Poe’s place on the gallows in a heartbeat if that’s what it took to keep him alive. He’d lost him too many times already. Whatever happened, however this played out, Finn was determined that he would not lose Poe again.

 


	28. Guilt

Hux sat in the co-pilot seat, tying a bandage around his injured leg, as Ren flew them away from the planet and took them to lightspeed. Once they had entered hyperspace, he set in the coordinates and turned in his chair.

“Would you like me to help with that?” he asked.

“It’s fine, it’s just temporary until we get back,” said Hux.

He tied off the ends and straightened up.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t help Dameron,” said Ren.

Hux shrugged, avoiding his gaze. He didn’t want to be bothered by this, but he was.

“It’s funny,” he said. “Until he contacted me, I had no idea if he was even still alive. We’ve had plenty of skirmishes with the Resistance fleet, he could have been shot down in any of those fights. And I was almost alright with that, with not knowing. I didn’t have to concern myself with his life any longer.”

“Almost?” Ren said curiously.

“As distant as it all is now, I still can’t shake off what happened.”

“It’s only been a year, Hux. It’s not that distant yet.”

Hux sighed heavily.

“No, I suppose not.” He paused a moment. “He’s in most of my nightmares.”

Ren didn’t respond right away. Hux stared down at his hands, not wanting to see whatever look Ren was giving him.

“Well…” he said at last. “You did… when you were stabbed… it _was_ because of him.”

“ _For_ him,” Hux corrected quietly. 

Ren huffed.

“I don’t blame you for blaming him for my death,” Hux went on. “When I thought you were dead, I blamed him too. But I did choose it. I brought it upon myself. I brought all of this upon myself, from the moment I agreed to kill him after that thing bit him. That moment damned us both.”

Ren took his hand and Hux finally looked up at him. He had expected him to look irritated, or hurt, or anything other than the soft, almost pitying expression he wore as their eyes met.

“You’re not damned,” he said.

“Ever since that moment, he and I have been dying left and right, or almost dying. And now he’s been arrested, because of me.”

“It could be worse.”  
“Treason is a very serious charge. And I don’t get the feeling that senator is going to be particularly fair on him.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Ren said. “But it’s out of your hands now.”

“It’s still my fault. I hate that I feel guilty, I _never_ feel guilty. But I do.”


	29. Berchest

The sun was barely starting to peek over the hills as the rescue party gathered on the tarmac. They would be taking two separate ships, the diplomatic team on a shuttle piloted by Luke, and the breakout team on the Falcon. The preparations were all made, weapons packed and strategies laid out. All that was left was to leave. Finn glanced around at the others – everyone had that tense, forced look of someone who is very nervous but trying very hard not to show it. Well, at least he wasn’t the only one.

“Alright,” General Organa said. “You all know the mission. Remember, Poe’s counting on us.”

“We wouldn’t let him down for the world, ma’am,” Snap said.

“I know. We’ll contact you when we reach Berchest.”

“We’ll be ready,” said Rey.

“May the Force be with you.”

Then they split ways. Finn turned to follow Luke and Leia, but Rey caught his hand.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah. Well… relatively.”

Rey smiled sympathetically.

“What can you feel from him?”

Finn bit his lip.

“He’s scared,” he murmured. “That doesn’t happen often. And… he’s losing hope. That happens even less.”

Rey gave his hand a squeeze and kissed his cheek.

“We’ll save him. I promise.”

Finn just nodded.

“Good luck,” Rey said.

“You too.”

 

 

***

 

Poe lay on his back, staring at the dark stone ceiling. He couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t that the cot was uncomfortable or the cell was cold or that several of the other prisoners in the cellblock were being noisy despite the late hour. Force knows he’d slept in worse conditions. The truth was, he was terrified. A tight ball of anxiety had wound itself up in the pit of his stomach and kept growing by the minute. His side throbbed, he was in prison on a strange and distant planet, and he was going to die, untried, for a crime he didn’t commit. 

The fact that he was going to die was bad enough, but he didn’t know how soon and for some reason that made it worse. They could be planning to string him up in just a few hours and he wouldn’t even know it. Or he could be made to wait for days in this dingy cell, the blast wound in his side left untended, until he was so sick he could barely stand on his own when they finally dragged him to the gallows. Neither option was preferable, not in the least because some stupid part of him was still clinging to the hope that maybe his friends would be foolish enough to try and save him.

He knew Finn wouldn’t want to abandon him. But the Resistance had to come first, and surely General Organa would keep him from gallivanting off on a jailbreak. Poe hoped so. He didn’t want Finn or anyone else he loved to get hurt because of him. But he also hoped against hope that someone, anyone, would come and save him.

 

 

***

 

For some reason, given their interactions with Senator Ziad and the reports on this planet’s justice system, Finn had expected the capital of Berchest to be a stark and unforgiving place, someplace he imagined would exist in the heart of the Empire. But as he entered the city with Luke and Leia, the place seemed so… ordinary. It was just another city on another planet, full of people just living their lives. It was actually a rather nice city, and if he’d been there under any other circumstances, Finn would have loved to explore its streets. 

They went straight for the capital building and were greeted in the grand, marble-hewn lobby by a young assistant, who led them up a flight of stairs and down a corridor to the senator’s office. She let them in and gestured for them to sit down.

“I’ll go fetch Senator Ziad,” she said, then left, closing the door behind her.

Finn glanced around the office. It was very elegant – less grandiose than the public parts of the building, but still ornate. Most of the furniture was beautifully carved from the same dark wood, the tall window behind the desk was framed by thick curtains of purple velvet, and the armrests of the chairs they were sitting in were intricately detailed with delicate gold leaf. Finn felt almost guilty sitting there and pointedly folded his hands in his lap, keeping his elbows clear of the armrests.

They had waited about five minutes in silence when the door finally opened and the senator stepped inside. All three of them got to their feet.

“Ah, General Organa,” Ziad drawled. 

He stepped forward and held out his hand. Leia took it, but rather than shaking it, Ziad lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. Leia pursed her lips, barely suppressing her disdain. 

“We’ve come on an urgent matter, Senator,” she said, turning to retake her seat as Ziad went around to sit at his desk. 

“I think I can guess the reason for your visit,” Ziad said. “Poe Dameron.”

“Yes –“

“Did you know you had a traitor in your ranks, General?”

“Commander Dameron is not a traitor,” Leia said sternly. “That’s why I’m here. You’ve made a mistake.”

“You weren’t there,” said Ziad. “He didn’t just refuse to kill General Hux. He defended him. Helped him escape. And when I arrested Dameron, Hux came to his rescue. No man can have that amount of loyalty from a First Order general and not be a traitor.”

“I know it’s confusing, sir,” Finn said. “But please believe me. Poe has a complicated history with Hux, that’s all. He’s against the First Order as much as anybody in the Resistance.”

“Please, just give him a fair trial,” said Leia. “You don’t have to let him free on our word alone, but don’t send him to the gallows without at least attempting to learn the truth.”

Ziad looked between them, an unreadable look on his face.

“I will consider it,” he said at last. “I make no promises, but I will look into the situation and get back to you on my decision by this time tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Senator,” said Leia, getting to her feet. “We look forward to hearing from you.”

Finn and Luke followed suit, and they left. They walked through the building in silence, but once they were outside, they stopped.

“He’s lying,” said Luke. “He won’t give Poe a fair trial.”

Leia nodded and scowled up at the imposing marble fortress.

“I know.”

 


	30. Judge, Jury, and Executioner

Rey did up the last button on her shirt and pulled on the overly starched jacket. She, Jess, and Snap were going undercover as inspectors at the prison in order to get an idea of how to stage a breakout if Plan A failed. She inspected herself in the spotty washroom mirror, then stepped out to where the others were waiting.

“Well? How do I look?”

“Uncomfortable,” said Jess.

She looked no less uncomfortable than Rey felt. Her hair was slicked back into an unforgivingly tight bun and her jacket seemed, if possible, even stiffer than Rey’s. 

“Come on, let’s get this over with,” said Snap, pulling on his gloves.

They left the Falcon and marched out into the city. Rey took a deep breath, centering herself, forcing herself into character. By the time they reached the prison gates, she had almost managed to beat her anxiety into submission. 

“Ready?” Jess asked.

Rey and Snap both nodded, then Jess pressed the hail button. There was a pause, then a gruff voice answered.

“Who is this?”

“We’re inspectors from the capital,” Jess said, standing up straighter. 

“Inspectors? We ain’t got no inspection!” 

“Did you not receive notification of our visit? We informed your superiors over a week ago.”

“None whatsoever.”

“Well then,” Jess said haughtily. “We shall just have to hope the _rest_ of the inspection goes more smoothly.”

There was another pause.

“Very well, come in,” the gruff voice said.

There was a buzz, then the gates opened. Jess led the way into the courtyard, Rey and Snap just a step behind.

“Well done,” said Snap quietly.

“That was the easy part,” said Jess.

They reached the front door, which was opened for them, and they were beckoned inside by a very tall man with a ring of keys hanging from his belt.

“So, inspectors,” the man said, closing the door behind them. “Mind if I take a look at your credentials?”

All three of them reached into their jacket pockets and pulled out the identification cards Snap had whipped up the night before. The man’s eyes scanned over each card, then he nodded, satisfied.

“Alright, I’ll show you around then.”

The man led them through the prison, telling them a bit about each area and about the prisoners’ routines, answering their occasional questions. They followed a few paces behind him, surveying every inch of the place, making note of every possible entrance and exit.

The last place they visited was the main cell block. Rey’s stomach twisted nervously as the barred door swung open and the guard led them inside. They followed him down the long row of cells, Rey’s anxiety climbing with each new cell they passed. Poe was here somewhere, in one of these tiny, dirty cells. At last they reached the end of the row and Rey turned to the cell on her left. Her heart skipped a beat, but she forced herself to remain composed. Poe was in the very last cell, fast asleep on a rickety cot. He was a little pale and his eyebrows were furrowed into a restless frown, but he seemed to be alright. 

Rey tore her gaze away and turned back to follow the guard back out of the cell block. When they once again reached the front door, Jess turned to the man and fixed him with a cold stare.

“Your superiors shall receive the results of our inspection by the end of the week,” she said. “Good day to you.”

None of them spoke until they were far from the prison gates.

“I’ve seen worse prisons,” Snap said. “But breaking Poe out of that place’ll be no picnic, that’s for damn sure.”

“Let’s just hope the general manages to get him out, or at least gets him a trial,” said Jess.

“We might still have to break him out if he gets a trial.”

“Yeah…” Jess sighed heavily, then turned to Rey. “You alright? You’re awful quiet.”

“I’m fine, I just…” Rey shrugged. “Seeing Poe locked up like that wasn’t easy.”

“He’ll be okay. He’s been in worse cages than that.”

“I know,” said Rey sadly. “That’s what makes it so hard.”

 

They returned to the Falcon and changed out of their disguises, then settled down in the cabin. Rey went to the computer and discovered a message from Leia had come in while they were away. She swallowed hard, her heart racing.

“Guys, we’ve got a message from the general,” she announced.

Jess and Snap both leapt up and were at her side in an instant. Rey pressed the button and a fuzzy hologram image of Leia sparked into life.

“We’ve spoken with Senator Ziad and he said he’ll consider giving Poe a trial and will get back to us by tomorrow. However, none of us are very hopeful of him cooperating, or even actually considering it. Make your plan as quickly as you can. We may need to implement it as soon as tomorrow night. I fear Ziad may reschedule Poe’s execution to keep us from pursuing this further once he gives his answer. I’ll send Finn to you as soon as we hear from Ziad. Good luck.”

The message ended and the hologram vanished.

 

***

 

Finn, Leia, and Luke sat down in a corner booth of the cantina, dinner and drinks laid out in front of them. Finn wasn’t sure he had much appetite, but he knew that if they had to break Poe out tomorrow, he’d need his strength.

“Do you really think Ziad would just execute him without a trial?” Finn said.

“I don’t know,” said Leia. “He seemed awfully ready to.”

“Ziad’s anger is strong,” said Luke. “He feels Poe thwarted justice by letting Hux live. He truly believes he’s a traitor.”

Finn shook his head.

“I shouldn’t have let him go to that duel.”

“You couldn’t have stopped him,” said Leia. “The thing about people like Poe is that sometimes, you just have to let them be an idiot. It’s how they learn.”

“Kinda hard to learn anything hanging from a noose.”

Leia sighed.

“It’s not your fault, Finn. I should never have let him take this assignment in the first place. I should have forbid him from taking it the second I heard what Ziad wanted.”

“I’m not sure that would have stopped him either,” said Luke.

“Ziad asked him to become an assassin. Poe isn’t cut out for that,” said Leia. “I’ve known a few assassins. Most are cold, they have to be. But a rare few are like Poe. They should never have taken that path. They’re good at what they do, but it weighs on them. You can see a dozen stolen lives behind their eyes. I’m glad that Poe escaped that burden. My only regret is that it led him here.”

 

 

***

 

Poe awoke to the sound of the guard banging on the bars of his cell. Scowling, he sat up.

“You have a visitor,” the guard announced.

Poe’s heart skipped a beat and he leapt up. _Finn_. Finn had come to see him, to tell him that he was looking for a way to get him out. The guard walked away and Poe went to the bars as a tall man stepped forward. Poe’s heart sank – it was Senator Ziad.

“What do you want?” he said, making no effort to hide his bitterness.

“To ask you some questions,” Ziad replied. “Consider this… your trial.”

Poe just stared at him, his stomach twisting into anxious knots. 

“What is your affiliation with the First Order?” Ziad asked.

“I have none. I hate the First Order and everything they stand for.”

Ziad scowled.

“Then why did you suffer General Hux, their leader and the orchestrator of the Hosnian system’s genocide, to live?”

“He saved my life, I owe him a debt,” Poe said quietly.

“A debt?” Ziad repeated, his voice dripping with disdain. “You think yourself and your debts above the law? Above justice for those murdered at General Hux’s command?”

“No I don’t,” said Poe. “And last I checked, disobeying orders wasn’t a crime. Certainly not one for which death is a just punishment.”

“You allowed a dangerous man to walk free when you were explicitly ordered to take him down.”

“My orders were to assassinate him _if_ I couldn’t get information from him.”

Ziad stared for a moment.

“Are you telling me he actually gave you information on the First Order?”

Poe stared back, hesitating. He was half tempted to make something up. But he knew he wasn’t nearly a good enough liar to get away with it, and being caught lying would only make things worse.

“No,” he said at last. “He didn’t.”

“So you admit you went against direct orders by refusing to kill General Hux?” Ziad sneered.

“You’re not my commanding officer,” Poe shot back. 

“But did your commanding officer not agree to send you on this mission?”

Poe bit his lip. General Organa had told him that he could walk away if he found himself unable to kill Hux. Telling Ziad this could save his life, or at least give the senator pause enough to postpone his judgement. But Poe couldn’t throw Leia into the line of fire like that. His loyalty to her was far too strong. 

“Yes, she did.”

“So by not killing General Hux, you were in fact disobeying the orders of your commanding officer?”

Poe sighed defeatedly.

“Yes.”

“So. You disobeyed direct orders, let a war criminal walk free, and conspired with a First Order officer. That sounds rather treasonous to me.”

“If you wanted an assassin, you should have hired an assassin,” Poe snapped. “I’m a pilot. A soldier. I’m not gonna lure an unarmed man into a back alley and shoot him, no matter what he’s done. Call it treason if you want, but I call it having a sense of honor.”

Ziad stepped right up to the bars.

“I hope it makes you feel good about yourself,” he said, his face inches from Poe’s. “Because that sense of honor is getting you hanged.”

“I hope sentencing an innocent man to death makes you feel vindicated,” Poe said, not backing down.

“You are not innocent, Poe Dameron,” Ziad snarled. “You are a traitor to the Republic, the Resistance, and to yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“You claim to hate the First Order, and yet you clearly care more about the life of their most powerful general than you do about your own. How does that not make you a traitor to your own ideals? The very ideals you’ve been spouting at me as your halfhearted defense?”

Poe just stared at him. Ziad took a step back, lifting his chin haughtily.

“Good night, Poe Dameron,” he said. “By this time tomorrow, your body will lie in a public grave.”

Then he turned on his heel and swept away. Poe backed away from the bars and sat heavily back onto his cot. So this was it. This was how he damned himself. He leaned back against the cold stone wall and closed his eyes. He knew Ziad hadn’t come to him with an open mind, willing to change his sentence, but still Poe felt like he’d somehow managed to make things worse. Tomorrow he would be executed. If his friends were to save him, they would have to come tonight.


	31. The Gallows

That morning was one of the longest and most stressful of Finn’s life. He knew they wouldn’t receive a message from the senator until at least noon, but he was on edge all the same, jumping at every unexpected noise, glancing constantly at the ship’s console in case a transmission came through. 

At last, a quiet beeping announced an incoming message and he, Luke, and Leia gathered around. Leia pressed the button and a hologram of Ziad appeared on the console.

“Senator,” Leia said. “I take it you’ve come to a decision.”

“Yes I have,” said Ziad. “I spoke to Dameron last night. He is utterly unapologetic for his actions, and I stand completely confident of his guilt. He will not receive a trial and we will go forward with his execution.”

Finn’s heart sank. He hadn’t expected much else, but hearing it confirmed made it worse.

“May I ask when his sentence is to be carried out?” Leia said, her voice forcibly calm.

“When?” Ziad echoed. “Why, he’s on his way there now.”

And with that, the transmission ended. Finn stared at the spot where Ziad’s hologram had been a second before, frozen in horror.

“Now?” he gasped. 

“Finn,” said Leia, turning to face him. “Get the others and get to Poe as fast as you can. Luke and I will meet you back on the Falcon. We’ll have the engines running. Now go!”

Finn nodded and took off. He ran off the ship, out of the hangar, and into the street. He knew the Falcon was parked in another hangar halfway across town – he would never make it in time on foot. Glancing quickly around, he spotted a speeder parked outside a nearby shop and ran toward it. He leapt in, ignoring the angry shouts of its owner, and sped off. He didn’t stop or look back until he reached the Falcon. Leaving the speeder idling outside, Finn ran onboard the Falcon, startling the others as he burst into the main cabin.

“Finn!” Rey exclaimed getting to her feet. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

“We have to go,” Finn panted. “They’re gonna execute him. They’re taking him there right now!”

Without another word, they all leapt into action, gathering their weapons and following him outside. They crowded into the speeder and took off. Finn only hoped they wouldn’t be too late.

 

 

***

 

Poe awoke the next morning to a bitter pang of disappointment. Finn hadn’t come. Any minute, he’d be whisked off to the gallows and it would be too late. The morning seemed to stretch on agonizingly slow, and yet it also seemed mere seconds had passed by the time the guards unlocked his cell. They bound his wrists and led him from the cell block, the jeers of his fellow prisoners following him out. 

It felt like ages rather than days since he’d felt the sun, but he was unable to relish it as they led him across the courtyard and loaded him into the back of a transport. Another man already sat inside, hands bound and head drooping mournfully. Poe sat across from him, watching him sadly as the transport began to move. He wondered if the man was here on the same charge as he was. 

At last the transport came to a stop. Poe looked back at the man, wanting to say something to him, but he had nothing. The doors opened and the guards dragged them out into the light. A gallows stood menacingly in the center of the courtyard and in front of it, a small crowd had gathered. Poe would never understand peoples’ strange compulsion to come to executions like they were a spectator sport. Atop the gallows platform stood a tall man all in black, a hood over his face – the executioner. 

Poe and the other man were led to the foot of the stairs. A guard took the man’s arm and roughly led him up onto the wooden platform, stopping him in front of the dangling loop of rope. Poe let out a shaky breath as he watched the executioner step forward and slip the noose over the man’s head, tightening the knot. Then he stepped back into place and pulled the lever. A trap door opened under the man’s feet and he fell. A sickening crack rang out over the hushed courtyard as the man’s neck broke. He twitched, then went still, his body spinning and swaying slightly from the momentum of the drop. 

Poe swallowed back the urge to vomit. Would his death be that quick, over in an instant as his neck snapped? Or would he just dangle there for ages, unable to breathe? He watched numbly as the man’s body was brought down and tossed into a cart to be taken away. Then the guard took his arm and led him up the stairs.

His heart hammered against his ribs as the executioner secured the noose around his neck. The rope was thick and rough and already dug into his throat. The man retreated and Poe knew that any second the ground would drop out from under him. Taking a deep, steadying breath, he closed his eyes.

“HEY!”

His eyes flew open again and he looked down just as Finn emerged from the crowd, blaster raised, Rey, Jess, and Snap close behind.

“Let him go,” Finn demanded.

“With pleasure,” the executioner said.

Then he pulled the lever. In the split second before he dropped, Poe locked eyes with Finn. Then the floor opened up and he fell. The stop was sudden and he could feel every muscle and vertebrae in his neck scream in protest. He tried to draw air but the rope dug too tightly into his throat. He squirmed, trying to get away, to do anything to breathe, but he was helpless. Then suddenly, he heard the sound of a lightsaber and he was falling once again.

Someone below tried to catch him, but instead they ended up in a pile of limbs and rope. Poe panted desperately, the rope still too tight to let him breathe freely. Then there were hands at his neck and Finn knelt above him, quickly but gently pulling the rope off over his head. Poe gasped and coughed as oxygen finally entered his lungs.

“Thank the Force we got here when we did,” Finn said, untying Poe’s wrists. “When I said ‘let him go’, that wasn’t _exactly_ what I meant.”

Poe chuckled weakly, still trying to catch his breath.

“Man, am I glad to see you.”

Finn smiled.

“Me too. C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

He got up, then held out his hand and helped Poe to his feet. They turned around to find a young soldier blocking their path, his blaster raised. His eyes were wide and his hands were shaking – it was obvious this was his first fight, maybe his first day out of training even. Poe took a step forward.

“We won’t hurt you, just let us go,” he said.

“Poe…” Finn said warningly.

Poe took another step forward. The soldier fired his blaster and Poe felt like he’d been punched in the gut, the air knocked from his lungs. But something was off. He looked down at himself, perplexed. There was no blood, no wound. He hadn’t been shot. But… 

His breath caught in his chest and he whipped around to face Finn. Finn stared back at him, looking shocked more than anything, one hand outstretched, blood trickling over his fingers as his other hand clutched the wound in his stomach.

“No!”

Poe rushed forward and caught Finn in his arms just as his knees gave out, and gently lowered him to the ground. He placed one shaking hand over Finn’s, applying pressure to the wound.

“Hang on, Finn, hang on. It’s gonna be okay, we’ll get help.”

“Poe,” Finn murmured, his lips trembling as he spoke.

“Shh, it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

Finn was terrified, and Poe could feel it, just as he had felt the blast rip through Finn’s body – strangely detached from his own sensations but powerful, overwhelming. He heard approaching footsteps, but they seemed distant, then a blaster shot, and then suddenly Rey knelt on the other side of Finn, taking in the damage with wide eyes. 

“We need to get him help, now,” she said urgently.

Poe nodded and tried to get up, to lift Finn, but his body didn’t seem to want to obey his commands. He felt numb, though pain and fear still screamed through, and suddenly he realized that he was feeling Finn go into shock. 

“I’ll carry Finn,” Snap said, “you two help Poe.”

Rey and Jess each grabbed one of his arms and helped him to his feet. He was barely aware of making it out of the courtyard, but once the noise of the crowd faded out, he started to come back to himself. 

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” he mumbled, shrugging himself away from Rey and Jess.

“We’re not gonna be able to get medical help on Berchest, not after this,” Jess said. “We need to get to the rendezvous and find the closest civilized planet, ASAP.”

She climbed into the driver’s seat of a nearby speeder and they all followed her in, then she flew them off to where the Falcon waited. The ramp was down and the engines were already running so they could make a quick exit. Once they were on board, Rey closed the ramp, then she and Jess hurried to the cockpit. Snap lay Finn down on the bunk and started searching around for the med kit. The ship jolted slightly as they lifted off. Poe opened a cabinet and wordlessly handed the med kit to Snap, who went over and started to tend to Finn.Just then, Luke entered the cabin.

“Rey said you needed me,” he said. “What happened?”

“Finn got shot,” Poe said hoarsely. 

Luke stared at him a moment, frowning.

“It’s the Force Bond, isn’t it?”

Poe nodded. Luke placed a hand on his shoulder.

“We’ve found a nearby planet to get Finn treatment,” he said. “Once we get there, we’ll talk. Alright?”

Poe nodded again. He wanted answers now, but he also didn’t know if he’d even be able to talk about this. Luke gently led him over to a seat and made him sit down, then went over to help Snap look after Finn.

It had to have been less than ten minutes before they touched down on the planet, but to Poe it felt like an age. They must have called ahead, because a medical team was waiting for them when they arrived. They loaded Finn onto a stretcher and whisked him away. The others all followed into the hospital and were ushered into a waiting room by a droid.

The door slid shut behind them but Poe just stood there, dazed, trying to ignore the fresh wave of pain and fear creeping in. He wanted to be with Finn, to help him, but he knew there was nothing he could do but wait.

“You can still feel him, can’t you?” Luke asked.

Poe nodded.

“What do you feel?”

“Pain. Why do I only feel pain?” He rested his forehead against the cool metal wall and tried to steady his breathing. “Why is _this_ what I get? He can feel anything from me, but I can only feel him like this when he’s suffering.”

“You’re not Force sensitive, Poe,” said Luke. “You shouldn’t be experiencing any of this at all. But your connection with Finn is different. My only explanation is that pain is… a very visceral sensation. Uncontrollably strong. It can’t be kept in check. And so you feel it when he is in pain.”

Poe turned so his back was against the wall and squeezed his eyes shut, the reverberations of Finn’s agony making him nauseous. The ground felt like it was spinning under him and he opened his eyes again.

“You don’t look so good, Poe,” said Rey. “Are you okay?”

“I can feel the love of my life dying, do you really think I’m gonna be okay?” Poe replied tensely.

“No, Rey’s right,” Leia said, frowning. “You look ill.”

She stood up and came over to him, then felt his forehead with the back of her hand. Her frown deepened.

“You feel feverish,” she said. “Could you have picked something up in prison?”

Poe thought for a moment, then groaned.

“Oh shit… I got shot.”

“What?!”

“No no, it’s okay, it’s not bad,” said Poe quickly. “I’m sure Finn and Rey told you about the duel.”

“Yes, they did,” Leia said, giving him a disapproving look.

“Well, Hux shot me, sort of, I just got grazed really. But then I got arrested and it never got taken care of, and it wasn’t exactly the _cleanest_ prison…”

“You need a doctor,” said Leia.

“No, I’m fine,” Poe said. “I can’t, Finn needs me.”

“Finn’s being taken care of,” Leia said sternly. “The only thing he needs from you right now is to not wake up and learn you’ve died from a perfectly treatable infection because you were being a stubborn idiot.”

Poe hung his head.

“I’m not gonna die,” he mumbled. “It’s not that bad.”

Leia gave him a look.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she said. “Let me see.”

Poe sighed defeatedly and lifted up his shirt, wincing as the fabric pulled away from the dried blood on his skin. The wound beneath was an angry shade of red, a sheen of fresh blood starting to come up from where his shirt had torn away the scabs. 

“Not that bad?” Leia repeated.

“It wasn’t like this before,” Poe said, feeling queasy. 

“We’re getting you to a doctor. Now.”

Poe looked at her a moment, then nodded wearily and let himself be led away.

 


	32. And If You're Gone, I Won't Belong Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Breath of Life" by Florence + the Machine (paraphrased for brevity lol)

Rey sat between Luke and Jess, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. Everyone in the room was stressed, the air was pulsing with it. Jess had her head in her hands, Snap was pacing, and Luke and Leia kept exchanging glances – Rey could tell they were using the Force to speak to each other, probably not wanting to further distress the others with whatever they were talking about.

Poe had been gone maybe fifteen minutes when a young nurse came into the room, wringing her hands. Leia stood up.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

“You’re the friends of Finn, the young man who was shot, correct?” the nurse said.

“Yes.”

Rey felt ill, suddenly not wanting to hear whatever the woman was about to say.

“I’m afraid he’s taken a turn for the worse,” the nurse said. “The doctors are doing everything they can, but… they wanted me to let you know, so you can prepare yourselves in case they cannot save him.”

Rey swallowed hard, forcing back the lump in her throat. There was still a chance, there was still hope… but if they had sent a nurse to warn them…. just how small was that hope?

“Thank you for informing us,” Leia said.

The nurse bowed her head and left the room. 

“How did this go so wrong?” Jess said quietly.

The room fell silent, but a second later, the door opened again and a different nurse stepped inside. Rey felt, if possible, even more sick to the stomach.

“I have news on Poe Dameron,” the man said grimly.

Rey exchanged a worried look with Luke. Poe hadn’t been in serious condition. What could have gone wrong?

“For reasons we can’t explain, his condition has deteriorated,” the nurse continued. “He’s fallen unconscious and his fever has worsened. It all came on very suddenly, no one knows what caused it. For now, he seems stable, but since we don’t know what’s wrong, we don’t know how to fix it. All we can do right now is try to keep the fever at bay. We’ll keep you updated if there is any change.”

“Thank you,” Leia said.

The nurse nodded and left.

“It’s the connection, isn’t it?” said Rey. “Poe felt that Finn was getting worse and… and…”

“I don’t know for sure,” said Luke. “But… that does seem the most likely explanation.”

“So what, you’re saying he’s just… giving up?” Snap said. His voice was strained and the look in his eyes was more frightened than Rey had ever seen him. “That he’s lost the will to live or something? That’s not possible. Poe Dameron doesn’t just _give up_.”

“I don’t know what it means,” Luke said. “I don’t know if the connection between them is so strong that one of them dying could kill the other, or if Poe really is succumbing to grief.”

Snap looked for a moment like he was going to argue, then sank down into a chair and buried his face in his hands. Rey stood up and went over to him, giving his shoulder a comforting squeeze. 

“Don’t give up hope,” she said, though the words felt empty in her mouth. “You said it: Poe doesn’t give up. Neither of them do. There’s still a chance that…”

She trailed off. She could feel Snap trembling with suppressed tears beneath her hand and let it fall, allowing him the privacy of his grief. She turned away, not sure how long she could keep her own grief from spilling over.

“I’m gonna step out for a bit,” she said. “I… I need some air.”

Without a backwards glance, Rey left the room. She stood there in the hall for a moment as the door slid quietly shut behind her, just catching her breath. She wanted more than anything to visit Finn, to be with him and comfort him. He must be so afraid, if he could feel anything at this point. But she knew she’d only be in the way. So she turned and went to Poe’s room instead. 

There was only one nurse in the room when Rey entered, monitoring Poe’s vitals. When the door opened she looked up.

“Is it okay if I… sit with him for a while?” Rey asked. “I won’t get in the way.”

“Of course,” the nurse said. “You won’t be in the way. If anything, you might help. I don’t know how much truth there is in it, but it’s said a friendly presence can help a patient get better. Or at the very least, be of some comfort.”

“Thank you.”

The nurse smiled sadly at her, then turned back to her work. Rey pulled up a chair and sat by Poe’s bedside, taking his hand. She glanced over him, sighing. He was so pale, his skin gleaming with a sheen of sweat, a restless frown creasing his forehead. It was all far too reminiscent of how they had found him in Mot’s hut a year ago, when Finn had saved him with the very bond that was killing him now.

Hesitantly, Rey reached out with the Force, feeling for Poe’s consciousness. A shudder ran through her as she was met with a wall of chaos and emotion – pain and fear and grief and hopelessness, wrapped up in the fog of fever. It was nearly impossible to tell which emotions were Poe’s and which were the projections of Finn’s, seeping into Poe's mind. But screaming out louder than the rest was a strange desperation that she couldn’t put a name to, almost an emotion but not one she recognized.

Rey pulled away, though she didn’t let go of his hand. She exhaled heavily, letting a couple tears fall. She felt guilty for having intruded – she knew how uncomfortable Poe was with the thought of someone picking through his mind, and with good reason – but her curiosity had gotten the best of her. And some part of her had hoped that maybe she would find the reason for Poe’s sudden illness. But she had found nothing concrete. Mostly, it seemed that Snap may have been right: Poe really did seem to be losing the will to live.

“You’ve got to fight it, Poe,” Rey said quietly. “I know it’s hard. I don’t want to lose him either. The thought of the galaxy without Finn… but you’ve got to hold on. He wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want you to give up.”

She fell silent for a while, composing her thoughts before she spoke again.

“You’re needed here, Poe. The Resistance needs you.” She bit her lip, a few more tears trickling down her cheek. “Oh fuck it, fuck the Resistance, _we_ need you. Your family. You should see them in there, Poe, they can’t lose you. You’re a brother, a son, to them. To think that you’re just giving up, it’s breaking their hearts. Please, Poe. I’m already losing Finn. I don’t think I could stand it if I lost both of you at once.”

She sobbed and buried her face in her arms, Poe’s hand still gripped tightly in hers.


	33. Awake

Rey woke up feeling groggy and confused. For a moment, she wasn’t sure where she was. Then the ache in her back and the soft beeping of medical equipment reminded her. She sighed heavily and nuzzled her face back into the crook of her elbow, reluctant to look up and see how much worse Poe had gotten while she slept. But then, the hand she was still clinging to squeezed hers gently.

Her head popped up so fast she made herself dizzy. For a moment she just sat there, blinking, staring as the sight before her slowly registered: Poe was awake. He looked even groggier than she felt, but he was definitely alive and awake, and as she stared at him, a tired little half-smile formed on his lips.

“Y-you… you’re okay,” Rey breathed.

“I dunno if ‘okay’ is accurate. I feel like shit,” said Poe. “But I don’t seem to be dead, so…”

Rey’s heart skipped a beat and she swallowed hard.

“Finn… is he… can you…” she said. “Can you feel him?”

Poe paused a moment, then shook his head.

“Quiet… but… he’s there, I’m sure of it. I think I would know if he was dead.”

Rey let out a sigh of relief, then punched Poe on the arm.

“Ow, what was that for?!” he said indignantly.

“For scaring the living shit out of me, that’s what,” said Rey. “Nobody knew what went wrong, they told us Finn was getting worse, then next minute they say you’ve mysteriously gone downhill too. We thought you’d given up!”

Poe glanced away, looking ashamed. Rey’s heart sank.

“You did, didn’t you? Finn was close to dying and you could feel it, and you just…”

“I don’t know what happened, not entirely,” Poe said quietly. “I think… that _was_ part of it. But I wasn’t completely in control of it. It wasn’t like I consciously made the decision to die if Finn did. But… I was willing to. Or better, I… I would have given up my life to let him live. I tried to.”

“I know,” Rey said. “I felt it. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but… you were trying to save him while you were unconscious, to give him _your_ life. The desperation I heard… it was a plea. You were asking the Force to give your life to him.”

“You’ve made a lot more sense of my brain during all that than I have.”

“To be fair, you did have a pretty high fever. And…” Rey paused, looking down guiltily. “I may have… snooped a little. I’m sorry.”

Poe didn’t answer right away and Rey glanced up at him nervously. But he didn’t seem to be mad.

“I wanted to find out what was wrong,” she explained. “That was all.”

“I trust you,” said Poe at last. “And I forgive you.”

Rey smiled a little.

“Thank you.” She sighed and stood up, letting their hands finally part. “I should let you rest.”

“If Finn’s awake, tell him I’m okay,” Poe said.

“I will.”

Rey bent down and kissed his forehead, then turned to leave.

“I could hear you, you know,” Poe said suddenly, so quiet she almost missed it.

Rey stopped and turned to stare at him.

“What?”

“I heard you. When you were talking to me before. It was muddled up, but… I understood. And I just wanted to say… thank you. And I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Rey said gently. “Get some rest.”

 

 

***

 

Finn woke up slowly, his senses kicking back in one by one. The room was quiet except for the soft beeping of a monitor, and even with his eyes closed he could tell that the lights were low. There was a dull pain radiating from his abdomen, and everything felt slow and sluggish – he must be on painkillers. Wincing slightly, he opened his eyes and stared at the plain white ceiling for a moment as he let them readjust. Then he started to look around.

He was lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to IVs and monitors, a thick bandage binding his chest. The room was mostly empty except for a nurse and, sitting in a chair to his right, Rey. When she saw that he was awake, she smiled.

“Hey,” she said softly. “How’re you feeling?”

“I dunno yet,” said Finn. 

His brain was still catching up, foggy with drugs. He frowned, replaying the last things he remembered. Saving Poe from the gallows, getting shot, and then…

“Poe,” he said suddenly. “Where’s Poe?”

“He’s in the next room,” Rey replied.

Finn frowned again. That wasn’t right. Poe should be here, he _would_ be if he had any say in the matter. Something was wrong.

“Rey, what happened? Something happened, I could tell something was wrong but then I passed out and…”

“It’s okay,” Rey said quickly. “Poe’s okay. Though he did give us a bit of a scare. You both did.”

“What do you mean?” 

Finn’s heart was beating very quickly, probably more so than was healthy after being shot.

“The Force bond between you two… it effected him more than it ever has before,” Rey explained. “He could feel everything you were feeling.”

Finn swallowed hard.

“Rey… did I almost die?”

Rey nodded, her eyes shining with tears.

“And Poe… he felt that happening?”

“More than that,” Rey said. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this so soon after you’ve woken up but… his injury from the duel, it had gotten infected so General Organa made him go to get it looked after. When… when you got worse… he just collapsed, his fever skyrocketed, no one knew what was going on.”

“The connection did this? It almost killed him?”

Rey hesitated a moment, as though weighing how much more to say.

“Partially. But… we don’t _really_ know what was going on, we can only guess, Luke definitely thinks the connection was a contributing factor…”

Finn frowned, but decided not to press her further. It was obvious she wasn’t telling him everything, and she probably had her reasons. He was still reeling from the fact that Poe had nearly died because of their bond, so as concerning as it was knowing there was more to it that Rey wouldn’t tell him, he figured it was best to let it lie for now.

“But he’s okay?” Finn asked.

Rey nodded.

“He woke up about an hour ago. He’s tired and sort of shaken, but he’s fine. I promise.”

“When can I see him?”

“I’ll find out.”

Rey smiled and took his hand. Finn squeezed it and smiled wearily back.

“Thanks for being here,” he said. “And thanks for telling me.”


	34. The Fear of Falling Apart

The doctors wouldn’t let Poe go see Finn for several hours and it took a stern talking-to from Leia to keep him in bed. Night had fallen by the time they finally cleared him. He winced a little as he got up and had to pause to let a dizzy spell pass, then went next door. Finn was propped up in bed, awake and looking surprisingly alert for someone who’d just been shot. He turned to the door as Poe stepped inside and his face lit up. Poe grinned back and came to sit next to his bed.

“Hey buddy,” he said. “How’re you feeling?”

“Kinda high,” Finn replied, smirking. 

Poe chuckled.

“I guess that’s better than the alternative.”

Finn shrugged.

“What about you? How are you doing?”

“Better now.”

“Rey told me about what happened. With the connection,” Finn said quietly.

Poe sighed and looked down at his hands.

“I figured. I’m sorry, Finn. I’m so sorry.”

“What? What do you have to be sorry for?”

Poe looked back up at him, frowning.

“For giving up.”

“You… what? What do you mean?”

Poe’s heart sank.

“Oh. Oh shit. Rey didn’t tell you everything, did she?”

“I knew there was something she wasn’t telling me,” Finn said apprehensively. “But… what did you mean by ‘giving up’?”

Poe bit his lip, considering how best to say this.

“I… I could feel the pain you were in. I felt you get shot, I… I could feel you dying. And when you… when it looked like you weren’t gonna make it… I felt it. I could feel you slipping away. And I couldn’t stop myself, I just… followed. I couldn’t bring myself to fight it.”

Finn didn’t say anything. He just stared at Poe, looking like he was about to cry.

“I’m sorry,” Poe went on. “I’m so sorry. I should have fought it. I should have tried…”

“Don’t be sorry,” said Finn, his voice cracking. “I know how it feels.”

Poe hung his head.

“Of course you do.”

“I’m not sure I could have fought it either.”

Poe reached out and took Finn’s hand. 

“That’s why I had to save you,” Finn said. “I’ve lost you too many times, I couldn’t let you get shot, not when I could stop it.”

Now it was Poe’s turn to stare in confusion.

“What?”

“I redirected the blast,” Finn explained. “I did a lousy job though, I didn’t mean to get myself shot. You didn’t really think that guy was aiming for _me,_ did you?”

Poe just stared, a lump forming in his throat. Finn had nearly died, because of _him_ , because he’d tried to save him. And then Poe had gone and tried to die anyway. He let out a shaky breath and a tear trickled down his cheek.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he said quietly.

“Yes I did. I’d just saved you from getting hanged, I wasn’t gonna let you get shot two seconds later.”

“You could’ve died. You almost did.”

“So did you.”

Poe chuckled humorlessly.

“Yeah, that was a pretty shitty way of repaying you for saving my life, wasn’t it?”

Finn gave his hand a squeeze.

“You couldn’t help that. It was the connection,” he said, gentle but stern. “And I don’t want you getting any ideas about _owing_ me for this. You don’t owe me any debt. I saved you because I love you and the thought of losing you scares me out of my mind. That’s all there is to it.”

The tears were flowing freely now, but Poe managed a smile. He lifted Finn’s hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles. Finn halfway let go of Poe’s hand to wipe away a few tears from his cheek.

“Thank you,” Poe murmured. “For saving me. Force, you’ve saved me so many times, not just today. Or yesterday. I don’t even know what day it is anymore.”

They both laughed, that tentative, relieved giggle one gets when you haven’t had reason to laugh for a while. For a moment they just sat there, taking each other in, smiling through teary eyes. They were alive, both of them, and they were gonna be okay. If only for a little while. But even just that little while would be enough, because Poe knew that, no matter what happened, they’d find a way to be okay again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for sticking with me through this crazy ride of a fic series! when i started it, i didn't even plan for it to have a sequel, let alone two, and then suddenly it's over a year later and i'm finally posting the final chapter. i'm gonna miss writing this story for sure, but i'm excited to move on to other stories! (i've actually been working on a short finnpoe fic so keep an eye out for that this week).  
> anway, thanks again for reading, and i hope you all enjoyed it!


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